Bolt
by Carfwyn
Summary: An AU vauseman story for you all. I am very out of practise, but I had an idea that wouldn't go away. Please feel free to correct any grammar/obviously very un-Americanisms I may throw your way. Set in the early 00's just out of college Chapman and Vause adventures. Hope you enjoy. Some chapters rated M for language and sauciness. So. Consider yourself warned.
1. Dick

The first few months out of college was a little underwhelming for Piper. She had started well and done the usual things you would expect from a college graduate in the summer. Along with her friends she had taken part in a montage worthy road trip across the states, taking polaroid pictures and drinking in grimy bars. For the most part they stayed in clean motels and hotel rooms, but when the group reminisce it was usually about that one time they all smoked weed and slept in the car under the stars. Right after that she moved to New York and with the aid of her parents was able to rent a small apartment with her best friend of three years, Polly. Bright eyed and bushy tailed she set off round the publishing houses of New York, imagining herself beginning as a lowly assistant, working her way up the ladder with the help of a hard faced yet secretly kind boss who would help her realise her true potential as an editor or author. Or perhaps that was just the plot of too many chick flicks she has seen.

After two weeks of raised eyebrows and effectively being shooed from shiny glass desks, she gave up on that idea with a single word buzzing round her brain 'experience'. Though she would never admit it to friends, she had somewhat been expecting to easily roll into a well-paid job after college. Some of her friends had been preparing for months to apply for paid or unpaid internships that worked through the summer, or started just after. Now she had this horrible feeling that her entitlement had got her in trouble again. It didn't help that her best friend and current roommate Polly had been one of the people who had sorted out an internship. Hers was paid. At American Airlines. She was already coveting several of the pilots she had seen, including the older (married) man who had winked at her several times and not so subtly felt her up in passing. Piper would internally roll her eyes at this and casually ask how things had worked out with Professor Broadhurst in their previous year. Polly would usually fix her with a pointed stare and ask her how the job hunt was going. Piper sometimes thought they got on so well due to their uncanny ability to tease out the colossal bitch side out of each other.

Despite her setbacks, Piper decided it was time to start looking further afield for jobs. She came to realise that unpaid internships were common, but they couldn't pay the rent. The Chapman bank of mom and dad were beginning to get a little impatient. The last thing she wanted was to return to Connecticut, to be set up with the 'sensible option' of working for a close friend of her fathers. Her mom liked to mention Mr. Daniels at least seven times per phone call, any other questions were usually linked with whether or not she had acquired a suitable boyfriend yet. Admittedly Piper was rarely without an admirer or five whenever she went out to bars or clubs, or even just on the street or public transport. Being tall, slim and blonde accompanied with soft features and what Polly had dubbed 'Bambi eyes' she would quite often be the first to attract attention of her friends. The trouble with Piper was her incessant need for perfection. On some level she felt she could have it all, the dependable with the funny, the smart with the kind and of course the perfect body with the perfect face certainly wouldn't hurt either… The result of this was usually a string of casual hook ups, broken hearts and plenty of free drinks. None of her friends begrudged the drinks.

Piper found herself a little bored with men as of late and had somewhat been experimenting with her 'lesbian' side as her friends called it. Growing up she had somewhat heavily repressed her attraction she felt towards girls, most probably the result of small town mentality and a constant negative stereotypes being reiterated throughout her middle and high school years. Since going to college she had slowly been chipping away at that repression piece by piece, with a drunken kiss here and a casual comment about a sexy girl there. She felt somewhat liberated whenever she successfully seduced a woman. It seemed to stroke her ego much more to make out with an attractive woman than it did to make out with an attractive man. One thing she had not admitted to anyone, including her best friend was that she had not actually got any further than second base with a woman. It wasn't necessarily that she didn't want to, there was just some deep fear within her that maybe, this one tiny part of herself she thought might be different to her whole family actually wasn't. What if she was just one of those girls who liked the idea of girls more than the reality? What if she just had some deep rooted family insecurities that were coming out in an unusual way? This is the fear that often kept her from going much further than groping with the girls she hooked up with as it would constantly linger in the back of her mind.

After a month of searching for some sort of reputable job Piper had succeeded only in telling her parents she had found a paid internship in marketing and assuring them that at the end of the current month she would be able to pay her own rent and bills. Her mother was pleased she could start showing her off again and her dad lectured her about grabbing opportunities that came her way and how she should call him if she ever needed him to help her handle them. If that wasn't enough she had also neglected to let Polly in on her little fabrication. This resulted in panicking. Excessively. Never one for emotional turmoil Piper decided drown her sorrows with alcohol… And possibly sex. Slinking into a tight yet casual navy dress and a pair of wedged heel sandals she gently curled the ends of her long hair and darkened her eye makeup before calling a cab to take her to the East village. She downed two tequila shots before she left for courage.

By the time she arrived she felt that sweet sense of indifference that often comes with alcohol consumption. She was about the cross the road to her usual haunt when another bar caught her eye. One with a neon sign reading 'Bolt' and a small rainbow flag waving cheerily in the breeze. Channelling the strength of tequila Piper crossed the road and pushed the door open. A little hesitantly she stepped forward into a dim room that was partially filled with tables and booths. The other side had a wide space for the dance floor and the bar was littered with stools. Her entrance had attracted a couple of stares which mostly lingered for a moment with slightly raised brows then went back to their drinks or group of friends. Piper chose a seat in the corner of the bar so she could observe what was happening around her. The barman glanced at her with an amused look.

"You do know what kind of place this is right hun?" the man's dark eyes danced with humour. He was of medium height with an impressively well-trimmed beard and multiple piercings. He wore a flannel shirt that suited him well. Secretly feeling a bit unsure of herself but desperately wanting to appear in control she met his gave and internally drew in a breath.

"Sure" she replied much more confidently than she felt "Can I ask what wine you would recommend?"

The barman's lips twitched into a smile "You a red or a white kinda girl?"

"White" Piper replied evenly. The barman chortled and looked back at her.

"Figures" he said. Piper's temper nearly flared its head before the barman offered her a genuinely kind grin.

"I'd try our house white to start if I were you. It won't knock your socks off and it's pretty sweet. Much like yourself doll."

Piper smiled back, she felt she needed someone on side and if she knew how to do anything well it was how to be charming.

"That sounds great, thanks."

"Large or sma-" before he could finish Piper replied "Large"

The barman laughed "Ok girl. I've got you."

After a couple of minutes staring into space and sipping on her wine the barman returned to her corner.

"How's the wine?" he asked nodding towards her drink. Piper shook herself from her daze and smiled over at him.

"Great... Thanks" Oh no. She had turned into that slightly shy awkward girl.

"Forgive me for saying this… But you kind of seem like a fish out of water in here." The barman said. Piper actually let out a breath, it was somewhat a relief to have someone break the awkwardness surrounding herself.

"That's definitely one way of phrasing it" Piper laughed. The barman smiled back and gave her a pointed look.

"My name is Richard, bar manager, cocktail expert and flaming homosexual… In fact, some of the regulars just call me Dick" he gave Piper an over emphasised wink, to which she giggled, then continued "What's your story hey sweetie?" Piper took another sip of her drink.

"Well… My name is Piper and what makes you think I have a story?" she asked.

"Hun, you walk in here looking like a frightened new-born lamb! My first thought was maybe she's the straight girl bored of guys hitting on her, so she heads to a gay bar… But that can't be right, because you clearly are not waiting on someone and you don't have a gaggle of giggling girls around you, all complimenting each other and saying how nice it is not to get constantly hit on; even though it's probably only about two of the group that actually get hit on in standard bars. Then I thought maybe you had genuinely made an error, but were too PC to say anything, so you have one drink before moving on to the next bar, but you're drinking too slowly for that to be true. So… Do explain what drew you here. You intrigue me and as you can see I have no one to serve right now. Relieve my boredom."

Piper had been listening to Richard speak with an amused expression and she raised her eyebrows as he finished, looking down the currently empty bar and the non-moving patrons sat at tables. She was flattered that someone so clearly full of confidence was interested in her with no ulterior motive.

"Clearly you have some theories. Perhaps you should expand on some of those" Piper said with a sly grin, which Richard returned.

"Oh ok, game on. So. You've just broken up with someone and you think if you get drunk enough and get with a woman that will solve your problems?" Piper simply shook her head.

"Hmm. You're a far right nut job who thinks just because her legs go on for days she can turn all the gay boys straight?" Piper laughed and gave him a pointed look.

"No?" Richard joked.

"No." Piper confirmed.

"Ok. You're not sure if you're straight or not and you also kind of want to stick it to your uptight family? Am I right? Either that or your life is going down the shitter so you need a distraction." Piper laughed and cast her eyes downward, sipping her drink again and smiling.

"That's definitely your most accurate description." Richard grinned at her.

"Aw. I've found myself a gayby. I feel like I need to protect you. The ladies are gonna have a field day with you sweetheart. Shall we come up with some kind of code so I can help you if you get stuck? Like a bird call?" Piper was only somewhat listening, concentrating more on the surprisingly astute reading from the barman.

"How did you know?" she asked out of the blue.

"What bird calls? I don't actually know any real ones but you can always just make them -"

"No" Piper interrupted "I mean how did you guess about me?"

Richard regarded her and smiled again.

"Ah, when you meet as many people as I do, you get quite good at reading people. The bit about your family I got from your name. I mean Piper? Are there many girl's names more phallic than that?" Piper burst out laughing.

"I suppose not." With that she downed the rest of her wine.

"Another?" Richard asked.

"Could you make me a surprise? I love tequila." Richard grinned wickedly.

"Sure thing Piper. After all, it is ladies' night."


	2. Good Girl

Two things happened at half past nine. One, ladies' night really did turn into ladies' night and two, happy hour began. Piper was two tequila shots, a glass of wine and two margaritas into the evening and was already feeling it. As Richard had predicted she had had a few admirers lingering around her, some Richard had tried to ward off until he got distracted by some pretty young men who had managed to worm their way into ladies' night. However, Piper held her own pretty well, most of the women who approached her seemed to sense the unsure vibes leaking from her pretty quickly which generally made them back off almost instantly. Just as she was being applied with her third margarita of the evening she felt a cool presence brush beside her when she looked up she was very grateful she had not taken a sip of her drink right away, because she definitely would have choked. The woman standing next to her wore a tight black pencil skirt and silk blouse which accentuated her amble bosom, her dark hair tumbled down her back and was effortlessly pinned and styled at the front. She wore black secretary glasses with bright red lipstick and winged eyeliner. Her skin was pale but flawless and she was tall. Really tall. She looked as though she had just stepped out of a 1960s pinup magazine and she was looking right at her with her bright green eyes and an amused expression.

"Perfect weather for a margarita huh kid?" Her deep gravelly voice did something to Piper. She looked around briefly to check she wasn't talking to someone else which made the dark haired women's smile turn into a grin.

"Hey! Vause! Paws off my gayby!" Piper's heart leapt and she want thankful for Richard stepping in so that she could stop making quite such a fool out of herself by staring. She looked down at her drink and felt a slight blush coming to her cheeks. She dared to look back up to see the dark haired woman's shit-eating grin being directed at Richard, then back at her.

"Aw, come on, don't be a Dick, Dick. I was just complimenting this lovely lady on her drink choice is all." Piper blushed a little harder and her heart fluttered upon hearing the word 'lovely'. Richard fixed the older woman a look.

"I assume seeing as you're here my bar maid should be arriving about now? She's only fifteen minutes late…" Richard sighed heavily.

"Yeah she gave me a ride… She's coming over now. She just got a bit distracted." Richard rolled his eyes and sighed again looking over at Piper.

"Word of warning if you ever open a gay bar, never give a horny lesbian the ladies' night shifts." Piper smiled politely and began sipping her drink, not wanting to make a fool of herself in front of the beautiful stranger beside her. To Piper's great joy said stranger grabbed an empty bar stool and dragged it along to sit next to Piper. A little closer than perhaps most strangers would.

"So Rich. Who's your friend?" the stranger asked, turning her attention to Piper once more and not so subtlety checking out her legs. Richard narrowed his eyes.

"Put it back in your pants Vause. This is Piper and it's her first time in a gay bar." He emphasised the words 'first time' to drive his point home. The woman laughed and sent Richard away to get her a beer while he was gone she turned her attention back to Piper, this time with a much softer smile.

"You can relax kid; I was just winding him up. I'm Alex by the way. What brings you here?" Piper wasn't quite sure how or why, but she instantly relaxed at Alex's words and tried to form an answer in her head without sounding like a complete idiot. This was easier said than done when she was as tipsy as she was. She shrugged and said

"Well, sometimes you just need to try something new."

Alex threw her head back and laughed, which drew a genuine grin to Piper's lips.

"You're not wrong kid. You're not wrong." Alex replied, never once taking her eyes off Piper, even when Richard handed her drink over. Piper met her gaze steadily, only breaking when their attention was turned to a pair of voices behind the bar.

"Tell my Nicky, what exactly does quarter past mean to you?" Richard was questioning a short, slim woman with masses of strawberry blonde hair, a gun's n roses t-shirt and think eyeliner. The woman reminded Piper somewhat of a lion. A lion with a thick New York accent.

"It couldn't be helped boss! I lost my keys and then there was traffic and I realised my watch batteries had died and my phone needs charging so I couldn't call you – speaking of which I'll just plug this baby in now…"

"And do prey tell explain to me what you've been doing for the past five minutes over by table nine?"

"Ok. Let's be fair here. The brunette with the red lips? Super-hot. Come on. I've been dying of thirst for the past two weeks."

Alex butted in on Richard and Nicky's back and forth at this point.

"Hah, you wish two weeks Nick. It's been more like two months." Nicky looked pointedly at Richard.

"See Dick. Come on. You can't blame me." Richard rolled his eyes.

"It's hardly my fault that you have slept with almost every single girl that frequents this bar Nichols." Nicky rolled her eyes and then grinned when her sight set on Piper.

"Well. Not all of them. Are you lost sweetheart? Because if not I can give you a great introduction to the world of-"

"Annnnd that's enough of you Nicky. Go forth and serve" Richard interrupted and pushed his bar maid towards a group of girls. She seemed more than happy to oblige.

"Jesus." Commented Alex "It's no wonder she hasn't been laid for weeks." Piper was unsure what to say so she simply finished off her drink to which Alex eyed her with a slightly impressed smirk and followed suite with her beer.

"Two more margaritas over here Dick, and start up a tab would you babe?"

The pair fell into an easy conversation, which flowed between home life, childhood, travel and funny stories, regularly interrupted by sarcastic comments or pouts from Nicky and 'gabysitting' from Richard. The hours passed and the drinks slowly carried on until both women were at that lovely stage between tipsy and drunk. Alex had been studying Piper for a while, her eyes narrowed and a smile adorning her lips. They had gradually come closer together and were sitting so close at this point that Piper was almost on Alex's lap.

"So. Piper Chapman. 22. Smith graduate, literature lover and possible raging lesbian. What are you really doing here?" Piper giggled and pushed Alex's shoulder slightly, her hand carelessly dropping to the other woman's knee. She kept it there.

"Well Alex. 25. High school graduate, book store manager and definite raging lesbian. I am avoiding a sticky situation." Alex grinned playfully and rested her own hand on Piper's knee. Ghosting up slightly further. She raised her eyebrow and seemed to come impossibly closer.

"Oh? I love a sticky situation personally." Piper giggled at her insinuation, her throat catching slightly and her stomach constricting with desire when she met Alex's eyes. She was all too aware of where her hands were and where Alex's were. Her eyes briefly fluttered shut when Alex's thumb circled the inside of her knee all whilst staring intently at her face. She smiled wolfishly when she saw her reaction. Piper drew in a shaky breath.

"Not quite what I meant. What happened was… Well I've got myself caught in a lie gone wrong. I'm not quite sure how to fix it." Alex said nothing, but squeezed her knee gently as if urging Piper on.

Piper found herself explaining everything to Alex. Her parent's expectations, her own expectations, the frustration her parents and shortly Polly would undoubtedly feel with her, the desperation to separate herself from her family and make it on her own. Her lack of experience with everything. The lie she had told her parents which lead up to her predicament and how she was currently solving it. Telling someone about it truly felt like a weight lifted off her chest. After she was done she glanced nervously at Alex, hoping she didn't think too poorly of her. Alex's face was hard to read but after a moment she whistled.

"Jeez kid, you're lucky you're so freaking hot because there is a whole load of crazy going on up there." Alex leant forward and tapped the side of Piper's head, then broke into a grin and laughed. Piper's heart swooned at the compliment and the fact Alex was clearly joking.

"Lucky for you I think that just makes you more interesting." At this Piper shoved Alex's shoulder before continuing to rest her hand on Alex's leg, their eyes joined and hands began exploring each other a little more boldly.

"Hey ladies" Richard broke the spell the two women had been under. Suddenly the loud drunken voices around them came to life a little more, as did the roar of Nicky's laughter in the background.

"It's last orders." Richard fixed Alex with a knowing look. "Do you want anything?" Alex smiled sweetly at Richard.

"Well, that's a rather vague question isn't it Richard? I don't want another drink, but I wouldn't say I don't want anything." She eyed Piper and winked at her. Richard rolled his eyes, but judging by the blonde's clear attraction to the brunette he refrained from commenting.

"How about you Piper?" Piper leaned into Alex a little further.

"I think I'm ok thank you Richard, I don't think I'll be feeling thirsty much longer." The look that Piper gave Alex could only be described as a smoulder. Alex's face was a picture. Richard tried to refrain from his laughter, usually Alex took total control. Seeing her fall apart under the influence of his new found gayby was delightful to him to say the least. After gaping for a few moments. Alex regained her cool.

"Hey Rich. Quick question, do you guys still need extra bar staff?"

"Ah, yes we do actually. Ever since Julia took off it's been a little tight around here. Especially seeing as some members of staff seem to believe turning up on time is optional..." Nicky just happened to be passing and she scuttled off in the opposite direction upon hearing the end of her boss' speech. Much to amusement of Piper.

"Well, how would you feel about adopting a new recruit?" Alex shoved Piper's shoulder a little, she looked a little alarmed. Richard scoffed.

"Pfft. Look, she's cute Alex, I get it. But come on. I bet I could count the amount of times she's got herself a drink on one hand..." Piper began to scowl and was about to protest when she felt Alex squeeze her thigh. Suddenly she turned to mush.

"Hear me out Rich… She's been to college so she's a fast learner, she's free, young, hot. The lesbians will want to fuck her and the gays will want to be her gay best friend. You were practically falling over yourself fawning over her this evening. I've never seen you follow something that closely that didn't have a dick." Richard began to protest but Alex simply held up her hand to him, as she continued.

"Think of the tips Rich, she's chatty and polite, not a walking stereotype" she jutted her thumb in Nicky's direction and was met with an indignant 'hey!' "Also you like her well enough and she's clearly too much of a good girl to not follow the rules. What do you say? You could just put her on trial for a couple of weeks?" Richard paused a moment mulling over Alex's suggestion in his mind and not immediately scoffing. Piper was staring at Alex in awe and Alex was wearing a slightly smug 'you know I'm right expression'. Eventually Richard turned to Piper.

"Ok. You start with three nights a week; we don't open on Mondays. I expect you here at 1PM this coming Monday so I can show you how to prepare every drink, how to clean every surface. You will make no complaints and you are not allowed to pout if this doesn't work out. You got that blondie?"

Piper couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.

"Are you serious?" she asked, just to make sure.

"Sure. Why not. If it doesn't work out, you can agree to spend money here drowning your sorrows. Deal?" Piper grinned and threw herself across the bar to hug Richard.

"Yes! Thank you! I mean yes I would love that! Should I get your number or what do you want me to do?"

Nicky made some smart ass remark to Alex this point to do with handcuffs and roleplay. Alex batted Nicky round the head and told her to shove her fantasies up her ass. More teasing ensued whilst Piper sorted times, numbers and arrangements with Richard. Whilst Piper was busying herself with her phone Alex leaned over her shoulder.

"Don't suppose I could get a copy of those digits?" she asked smoothly. Piper smiled and asked for Alex's phone. She quickly entered her number and sent herself a text to ensure she had Alex's number too.

"I think it might be about time we left." Piper stated abruptly. "It was so lovely to meet you Richard… And Nicky" she added as the wild haired woman winked at her and made some obscene gestures towards Alex. Alex hadn't noticed this however as she was a little surprised by the blonde's statement. Sure she had flirted with her all night but she hadn't genuinely expected much more than the blonde's number and maybe a quick kiss. She just thought she'd double check.

"We?" she asked looking directly to Piper. The blonde grinned and slowly took Alex's hand, twining their fingers together. She waved at the bar staff (her soon to be colleagues) and dragged Alex with her towards the door. When they reached the cool air outside Piper shivered a little and moved closer to Alex. She had sobered up slightly and eyed the row of cabs pulling Alex towards them. Alex stopped for a moment.

"Piper… What are you asking for here exactly?" Alex asked, eyeing her curiously. Piper moved closer to Alex still, close enough to keep eye contact, but so she could hear her murmuring.

"Well. It's just all this flirting this evening has caused me to get into another sticky situation Alex…" The brunettes stomach dropped at her words "and honestly, you helped me so well out of the last one I would love it if you'd help me out just once more this evening." Alex swallowed, her eyes darkened and her lips twitched into a smirk.

"I think I could manage that." Alex whispered in her ear, placing a gentle kiss on the blonde's neck and running her fingers up and down her goose-pimpled arms. The blonde buried her head into Alex's neck, then in voice as smooth as syrup said:

"Good, because I'd like to show you that I'm not always a good girl." Alex's last thought before their lips met was 'well fuck me'.


	3. Fist Pump

Warning: This chapter is M for mature grown up bonding time.

Thank you all for your kind feedback for the story thus far. This is a little shorter than I'd hoped, but then next chapter will likely be much longer. I just felt the ending of this chapter needed little elaboration.

The two women stumbled into the nearest cab, Destiny's child was on the radio and Alex had immediately fisted some bills to the driver and directed him to her place, looking to Piper who gave an affirmative nod. Their lips met again almost instantly, the alcohol limiting Piper's modesty to the point where she let out a desperate sigh when Alex's teeth caught her earlobe and her fingers skimmed underneath her dress. They were thrown forward slightly at a red light when the driver stopped a little abruptly. Alex met his eyes in the mirror and glared. After telling him to keep his eyes and the road she kept her lips to herself for the time being, much to Piper's apparent dismay.

The blonde settled for snuggling into her side and nuzzling her neck, placing kisses (that she imagined were subtle) up and down her soft skin. It was getting harder for Alex to maintain composure so she shifted her body to defend Piper from prying eyes and firmly stroked from her knee to her upper thigh and back again, getting a little higher each time.

"If you're quiet you might get a reward Piper… Pretend to fall asleep."

Piper's stomach muscles tightened in anticipation and she settled her head onto Alex's shoulder and after a few minutes began breathing deeply.

"Good..." Alex whispered softly, Usher's 'u got it bad' came on the radio and Alex smirked a little at the lyrically apt song choice. Her hand ran further up Piper's dress she let her fingers gently stroke the soft skin of her upper thigh. She felt Piper tense and nuzzle her head further on her shoulder, letting out a quiet breath.

She grinned and got a little bolder. Her fingers were met with a pleasant heat as they danced right up to the outline of the blonde's panties. Alex closed her eyes briefly and took in a sharp breath as she realised that Piper was wearing a thong. A very thin lace one. A thong that was so wet it was essentially slipping between Piper's legs, being as useful as a chocolate teapot. Alex began tracing up and down the front of Piper's thong with her index finger, her lower regions clenching deliciously. Normally she would never be so bold with someone like Piper, hell, with anyone, but there was something about the blonde that was driving her crazy with lust.

"Was this your plan all evening? Were you sat there talking to me, soaking through that tiny piece of string and hoping your juices didn't mark your dress, the seat or your thighs? Fuck that's so fucking hot."

The only reaction Piper gave to the brunette's dirty talk was a shaky sigh and both of them felt a small hot gush of fresh arousal coat the already sodden string resting between her swollen lips. Alex felt a similar reaction in her own body and Piper was too turned on to feel worried or ashamed. She just continued the pretence of sleep.

Alex slowly moved Piper's thong to one side, her index finger gently circling the wetness they found there, hen delicately brushing her clit which caused an involuntary movement of Piper's hips. Alex's other hand stroked Piper's head and she put her mouth to her ear once again.

"You're so wet Piper… If this cab jerks even slightly my fingers might just slip right up in your tight pussy. Is that what you want?"

Suddenly Piper let out a high pitched sigh, as if suddenly woken from sleep. She pushed her lower half down and her arms up as if stretching and true to Alex's words, her resting finger slipped right up inside Piper. She felt hot and tight. Alex's eyes fluttered shut as she struggled holding back a loud moan at such a wanton act and gently began to pump her finger. Piper's eyes danced as she stared intently at Alex and they shared a knowing smile. Piper had no idea that being fingered by an almost stranger in the back of a cab would be one of the most erotic experiences of her life. Their bubble was broken a little while after as the driver pulled up outside a simple block of flats. Thank the lord for a lack of street lamps.

"We're here ladies, sorry about the traffic back there. Queens is a bitch to get to this time of night."

The driver started to look down at a map he had and Alex took the opportunity to quickly slip out of Piper, sucking her finger clean with a wink. She then leaned over to open the door handle whilst Piper fixed her dress slightly.

"You girls… Enjoy yourselves." He winked as Alex and Piper hopped out of the cab. Piper grinned and yelled a quick thanks before slapping Alex's ass as she began to walk towards the apartment block door. The cab driver laughed and wolf whistled as he pulled off. Alex immediately fixed her with glare, betrayed slightly by a playful smile.

"Oh. It's on now. You're gonna get it."

Get it she most certainly did. At least five times. Admittedly it was a tricky start; falling backwards off the sofa and grazing her knee pretty badly on the edge Alex's gnarled oak side table had been a bit of a mood killer. Once Alex had stopped laughing and Piper has stood up a bit sheepishly with a bloody knee, Alex's amused smirk morphed into a kind smile, her eyes still dancing with humour.

She got her to sit on the kitchen counter as she gently wiped her knee and pressed a kitchen cloth to the cut to stop the bleeding. They bantered back and forth, Piper's embarrassment over the situation getting the better of her. Alex laughed every time she covered her face with her hands. She sensed Piper's sudden spike in nerves about the situation once the lust fog had worn off and eased her with casual conversation. Piper's confidence grew and she began flirting a little more. After a couple of wipes Alex raised herself to her full height and kissed Piper slowly on the lips.

"You ok?" She'd asked. What she was really asking for was this ok. Piper nodded, then after a beat she pouted her lips and battered her eyes a little.

"I dunno, it's still pretty sore." Without missing a beat Alex grinned.

"Want me to kiss it better?" she asked. Piper grinned.

"Sure."

In that moment Alex grinned, winked at Piper then sloped further down her body. Piper suddenly felt cool hands and finger caress up her dress once more.

"Hey, what are you doing down there? Aren't you meant to be kissing me better?" Alex lifted her eyebrows and grinned mischievously.

"Sure thing Princess, I just didn't say where I was going to kiss you did I?" With that Alex used one hand to push Piper back against the counter, the other to pull off her soaked thong and just like that gave Piper a kiss that made her cry out over and over and would later be filed away in the memory bank for use during personal private times.

Alex had coached Piper out of her nerves and the two spent the night kissing and touching in various different positions, in various different rooms until eventually their exhaustion got the better of them and they fell asleep in a chaotic mess of tangled legs and bedsheets.

The next morning Piper awoke to the gentle bounce of someone moving on the bed. She opened her eyes slowly and stretched out, the ache between her legs reminding her where she was. Meeting her gaze was what could only be described as a 'cat that got the cream' grin from Alex, who was in the middle of climbing back under the covers. Piper beamed at her, rolling on her side and propping herself up with her elbow.

"Morning" Piper said, her voice a little croaky.

"Good morning to you. There's coffee on the side for you. I wasn't sure how you took it so there's some creams and sugar there too. I thought maybe you'd like some coffee unless you have to go which would be cool too."

Alex sounded almost nervous, she realised she was babbling and internally berated herself, grabbing her own coffee and sipping it slowly to shut herself up. Luckily for Alex, Piper found the interaction adorable, but thought better of voicing that opinion. Instead she grinned and sat up a little more, using the pillows to prop herself up.

"No, thanks that's great. I haven't got anywhere to rush off too… Unless of course you need me to?" Piper ended a little uncertainly. Alex felt relief wash over her that she apparently wasn't the only one who struggled with awkward mornings after.

"I wouldn't have made you coffee if I wanted you to leave." Piper smiled and picked up her cup, adding cream and a little sugar. She leant into Alex slightly.

"Well, I must say I wasn't expecting such service." Alex laughed.

"Yeah well, hardly fair to send a lady on her way after last night's work out without a little caffeine in her system right?"

Piper's smile faltered slightly, then found its way back to her lips. They drank their coffee in an easy silence, smiling at each other every now and then. Piper texted Polly to let her know she was not lying in a ditch and Alex busied herself texting her mom that she would call her later.

"Alex, would you mind reminding me where the bathroom is?" Piper asked.

"Sure, it's the only other room in the flat, just as you come out of the door, turn right and it's right there."

"Thanks" smiled Piper "Do you have a robe or a… Shirt or anything." Alex grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

"I don't know I rather like the view without" that earned her a playful slap on the arm.

Alex rolled out of bed (to Piper's disappointment she had already covered up) and she threw a large t-shirt in Piper's direction. Piper pulled the shirt over her head and looked down at the face on the shirt. She raised her eyebrows.

"Blondie? Really?" Alex laughed.

"An honest to God coincidence! Don't you need to pee?" Piper smiled at Alex through narrowed eyes, got up and shuffled towards the door. As she was part way through Alex spoke up.

"Hey. If you really have nothing to do today, you can hang out here for a bit if you want. Or until you need to do stuff or whatever."

Smooth Alex. Smooth.

Piper couldn't hold back her grin.

"I'd love that" she said.

"Yeah?" Alex replied, smiling.

"Yeah."

Piper padded out of the room, when Alex heard the bathroom door click shut she grinned wildly and did a small fist pump to herself, falling back onto the bed. Little did she know in the bathroom Piper was doing exactly the same thing, with an additional little victory dance number thrown in for good measure.


	4. Beginning

AN: I've had no internet since Saturday... I have also been trying to sort out multiple moving times without internet and a broken phone... It's been one of those weeks. Anyway, I come with updates :) Turns out this story is likely going to be longer than expected. I have written the next few couple of chapers, but those need some serious editing. Will hopefully be back with something soon. It looks more like this story will have somewhere between 8-10 chapters rather than the original five I was going for. I'm sure you'll all be devastated to hear as such. Anyway, I hope your weeks are going better than mine! Will be updating again over the weekend.

Alex's flat was modest and clean, but full of stylish little touches. Everything there looked so adult. She and Piper spent a huge chunk of their time playing 'read it or not' with Alex's book collection. The two women spent the whole day absorbed in one another. They were playful, they were serious, they were political, they were philosophical, they were teasing, they created their own in jokes and intimate memories. When Piper eventually had to drag herself to the home she shared with Polly, she was almost walking on air, a smile plastered to her face and a spring in her step.

Polly had assumed Piper was high and got pissed, until she revealed the details of her weekend, including the lie she had told Polly and her parents, she also explained the solution. As it turns out Polly wasn't surprised at all by Piper's revelation because apparently she can tell the difference between 'honest Piper' and 'talking out of her ass Piper'. Talking out of her ass Piper can't hold eye contact for longer than five seconds it would seem.

From that point on the relationship between the Alex and Piper snowballed and Piper couldn't contain her complete adoration for Alex and Alex could not contain her overflowing happiness Piper's presence caused her. In fact, Alex had become the butt of almost every one of Nicky's jokes and had come accustomed to keeping her middle finger thrusted in the curly-haired woman's general direction most of the time.

For her part Piper was really enjoying bar work. Like Alex predicted she was proving popular with the girls, but even more so with the gay men. This success had upped her number of shifts at the bar to five a week with her choice of extra shifts as and when she chose. Alex had also tried to sway her to come on board at the book store she manages, but Piper felt like she'd already helped her enough.

Richard seemed happy enough with Piper's work and liked the attention he received from guys when he told the story of 'discovering' Piper. Alex would usually just wink at Piper or pull faces during these stories.

They had formed a habit where Alex would come and sit in on every single one of her Friday night shifts. She mostly sat drinking beers and teasing Piper (quite often with her cleavage) at which point Piper tended to start winking a lot and blowing kisses. When flirtations toed the line into PG-13 territory Richard would usually shut Alex down and banish Piper to the other end of the bar. Alex usually remedied this by detailing exactly how and where she had been corrupting his 'gayby' at which point Richard would usually surrender, returning Piper to her rightful section and storming away muttering about obscenities and 'gross lady parts'.

Piper secretly loved this little tradition they shared. It was like a weekly anniversary of their meeting and it made Piper think and feel things that really were not appropriate to feel after just a few weeks. The 'L' word had been floating around her head since that very first day they spent together, but as a creature of self-preservation there was no way in hell Piper would actually say the words. Not right now anyway. She wasn't completely crazy.

The pair had been 'official' girlfriends for just two months when Alex got a promotion at work to head a new, much larger store and be responsible for some of the goods handling. In other words, she would be picking more of the stock. Alex was excited about this as she had been following many up and coming authors in the past few years that she could finally start putting out there into mainstream book stores. Piper took Alex out to celebrate and invited their friends along too. Richard, Nicky, Alex and Piper had been spending a lot of time outside of work together. The restaurant was nothing flashy, just a cute little Italian place they had yet to try in Queens.

The evening had been lovely, filled with good food, laughter and tiny pixelated photos taken with their flip phones. There were also a couple of naughty moments too, ever since their first cab ride Alex was determined to push Piper's boundaries of sex in public as much as possible. Truth be told it had become something of a game. This resulted in much hand wandering and hand swatting and the occasional moment where Alex would have to restrain her smirk as Piper let her touch her whilst she was mid conversation with a waiter discussing dessert orders. Ok, maybe that was just one particular moment and maybe Alex was immensely amused and just a little proud that Piper had ended up unintentionally asking about pie flavours three times in her flustered state.

As Alex's smirk turned to laughter, Nicky and Richard suddenly realised what was happening and wore polar opposite expressions. One had a manic grin that would rival the Cheshire cat's and one the mirror image of someone who had just discovered lube and a gimp mask in their elderly relative's bedside cabinet. The result was an exclamation of disgust aimed towards the couple, a kick under the table from Richard and a collective indignant 'NICKY!' when the woman had made a show of pulling up the table cloth to get a better look.

The pair promised to behave themselves and did so accordingly for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night they decided to walk back to their place, Richard and Nicky both climbing into separate cabs. They hugged before they left, Richard joking he only liked a very specific type of Queens. Piper had chuckled, the comment reminding her of something Polly would say... Well. Bar the homosexual undertones.

Fall was only just beginning to set in, so the air was still pleasant enough to walk around in. As they were walking Piper did something that made Alex's heart clench tightly. She reached her hand over and twined their fingers, leaning into her as they walked and giving her this look. To Alex it was a look that said 'I don't care who knows I'm with you' and in the feeling of pure happiness she felt about this bubbled over at this point, she stopped in the street. Dragging Piper backwards with her. She kissed her gently on the lips.

"I love you." Alex stated, her eyes sticking to Piper's face to watch her reaction.

Shock. Shock was Piper's reaction. Alex felt the same way she did? Was it too soon? What else do you need to know before you start loving someone?

After a few beats Alex replied jokingly.

"You now usually this is the part where you say something, or react. But doing an impression of a startled goat is also good." The slight downward turn of Alex's mouth gave her away and Piper suddenly came to life. She smiled wider than she can remember in her life and began peppering Alex's face with kisses, her heart soaring.

"Oh god Alex I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, in between little pecks. "I just got lost in my thoughts for a second."

Piper pulled away for a second, keeping her hands cupping Alex's face and stroking her cheeks with her thumbs.

"I love you too." She whispered and leaned in for a kiss.

When she pulled away Alex was wearing rather a goofy grin.

"Well then. Now we've confirmed we're as crazy as each other, race you back?" the pair playfully chased each other all the way back to Alex's room.

The night they shared after their declarations could have been taken right out of one of those quirky indie romantic movies. All sweet words and gentle touches. For the first time in her life Piper understood why some people might use the term 'making love'… The phrase would still never be for her, but that is the only way it could be described.

The months pressed on and by November Piper realised she was struggling to pay her side of the rent in her and Polly's apartment. Piper was unwilling to come clean with her family and so had been looking for other day jobs she could do in between shifts at Bolt.

Alex considered asking Piper to move in with her and had casually floated the idea, but Piper would remind Alex of her tenancy agreement and the fact she would be kicked out if it was found that she was subletting. Neither of the pair were really in the position to move at the moment. Instead Alex kept offering Piper a job working at the book store during the days she didn't have shifts covered. The pay was decent and the company would be even better she had said.

Piper was a little hesitant to accept the offer, Alex had found her the job at Bolt and it was beginning to feel a little like she had abandoned her reliance on her parents for a new reliance on Alex. She never directly told Alex this as she thought her concerns were silly. It was still early days and she didn't want to come off as sounding immature. After being rejected by what seemed to be every store and restaurant in the city, Piper talked herself round to the idea of starting work with Alex. She thought she might be able to gain some valuable experience, and if nothing else she would be around literature all the time. That counted as making use of her degree right?

Alex had been ecstatic and managed to sort her a training day post for just after the New year. Piper had told Polly about the new job, but told a little white lie about where it was. She had dodged the question for a while by just saying 'retail'. Polly being Polly was like a dog with a bone and did not give up, so Piper began spinning some story about working at a target near Alex's place in Queens. Polly relaxed and said she understood why she'd been reluctant to tell her.

Piper wasn't quite sure why she hadn't told Polly the truth. She just felt like Polly would have something to say; though Polly and Alex had met a few times now, they had neither hit it off nor hated one another. Piper just didn't want the hassle of having to explain herself. Polly had stayed oddly quiet about the whole situation and Piper wasn't quite sure how she felt about that.

Soon enough Christmas began creeping up on the pair. The run up had brought many cosy nights in, decorations, comfort food and on the 22nd of December it also brought Diane Vause. It was the afternoon before Piper was to return to Connecticut for Christmas. Alex and Piper were snuggled under a blanket together watching Little Women (Piper's request) when they heard keys jangling at the door.

Piper had given Alex an alarmed look and Alex just groaned, readying herself for the pending embarrassment that was sure to be hurled her way.

"Relax Pipes, it's just my…" Alex was interrupted by a woman's voice.

"Al, sweetie! I came by early because I could not be fucked to cart these… Oh" The pair watched as a medium build woman in her late thirties or early forties, with a heavy New York accent, dark hair and startlingly blue eyes pushed her way through the door, dropping roughly six loaded shopping bags haphazardly on the floor. Upon seeing the two girls cuddled up on the sofa, her dark red lips had curled up into a grin.

"Ah, I see. So is this why you've been bailing early every Sunday is it Alex? Well she sure is pretty, much prettier than those grungy girls you used to bring home with you when you were 17, you remember? The type that had piercings everywhere and greasy hair all over their face? Spoke in a series of grunts and thought they were all poetic and shit?"

Alex groaned and covered her face with her hands. "MOM!" she exclaimed.

"What? Anyone would think I'm being rude, yet you're the one who hasn't mentioned this lovely young lady, or even introduced me even though we're both here together in the same room."

Piper had been trying to keep a straight face throughout Alex and her mom's interactions. She pulled the blanket away, very thankful she had clothes on, and got up from her spot to go over and greet the newcomer. She extended her hand in a handshake.

"Hi, my name is Piper."

Diane smiled warmly. "Well Piper, it's nice to meet the woman my little Ally has told me nothing about, but does explain the dopey smile she's been wearing for the last few weeks. My name is Diane, I gave birth to this one" She indicated towards Alex who groaned again and began threatening to throw things. Diane simply laughed and turned to Piper once more.

"Take no notice hun, she always has been a moody little shit." Alex rolled her eyes and Piper laughed. Alex paused the movie and eyes her mom's bags.

"I'm guessing you're wanting to do Christmas dinner here instead of at your place then mom?" Alex asked.

Diane considered this for a moment. "To be honest I was just dropping in because my arms felt like they were gonna come out of their fucking sockets, and to visit my favourite daughter of course. But I guess we could do dinner here. Is your stove big enough to fit the bird in?"

Alex eyed the stove and the bags her mom had brought.

"Sure, I mean it's just the two of us right so it's not like we're gonna need anything huge mom."

Diane nodded. "Alright yeah, sure. Why not? Save my arms a work out hey?" Diane winked at Piper. Piper smiled politely.

"Would you like help putting all these things away?" she asked.

Diane raised her eyebrows and Alex and gestured in Piper's direction.

"Polite too! What the hell is she doing with you Alex?" Diane joked. Alex smiled and laughed, then looked at Piper.

"I genuinely have no idea." Piper crossed the room to go and squeeze Alex's side. She kissed her on the cheek.

"Well, you're taller than me, so you can reach everything. Plus, it helps that you're super cute."

Diane gave the pair a genuine smile.

"Looks like you found a keeper there Al. Since you offered Piper, let's put these groceries away and Al can make us all a coffee. Then I've got loads of embarrassing stories to tell you about Alex."

Piper grinned and Alex sighed, Piper looked up at Alex and winked.

"Can't wait" she replied to Diane.

The evening progressed rather pleasantly. After unpacking the shopping and sipping on coffee the trio had decided to order some Thai take out then sat on the couch, the conversation flowing between the adventures of a young Alex and Diane teasing information out of Piper about her background, her family and her current living situation. They shared a few bottles of wine and were all slightly tipsy by the end of the evening.

Diane had been watching the two women interact all night. There were barely any moments that passed where one did not touch the other. Just briefly, just a gentle skim of the fingers against an arm or a side, or a knee against a leg. Right now Alex had her arm casually swung round Piper's shoulder and Piper had her knees tucked underneath her, leaning against Alex's torso. The looks that passed between them did not go unmissed by Diane.

"Well Piper, I don't know what you've done to my daughter, but I must say I've never seen her happier. You guys make an adorable couple." Piper beamed at Diane and looked at Alex with adoration.

"Well she makes me really happy too Diane." Piper spoke so unashamedly and freely it touched Alex deeply. She kissed her forehead, not trusting herself to say anything in case she teared up. How did she get so lucky?

A little while later Diane was waiting for a cab to take her home. Piper had fallen asleep on Alex's shoulder (she had been working at Bolt – something about Christmas party preparations) so when Diane's cab was a couple of minutes away, Alex gently eased her lover's head to a cushion and covered her with a blanket after insisting she waited with her mom outside. They walked together slowly.

"I like her Alex." Diane said. Alex smiled.

"Me too mom." A pause.

"Why didn't you tell me about her sooner Alex?" They reached the door and Alex pulled it open, the cold December air sweeping around them both. They walked outside and stood under the street lamp. Alex looking at her feet.

"I don't know. I just. I wanted to be sure." Diane lit up a cigarette.

"Sure of what hun?" She took a long drag and let out a sigh.

"Sure that... Sure that she would. Be…" Alex was struggling to find the right words.

"Alex, it took me roughly three minutes after meeting her to realise that girl loves you. She looks at you like you hung the moon kid." Alex smiled.

"I know ma… I just." She paused.

"Just what?" Diane asked, eyebrow raised.

"I don't want to screw it up." Diane laughed.

"So don't hun."

Alex drew her eyes up to meet her mom's.

"I know. I just. I can't believe I have someone like her and I'm kind of scared that any changes to our relationship could mean I'll lose her." Diane looked hard at her daughter for a moment and stepped closer to her.

"You listen to me Ally, don't put her on some kind of giant pedestal like that. She doesn't want it, and you're sure as shit gonna be disappointed when she eventually stumbles and falls. Ain't none of us perfect my darling and you are completely worthy of her love, just as you are. Ok?" A cab drove slowly up the road and began signalling to pull over. Diane took a final drag of her cigarette, chucked it to the ground and stood on the end to put it out.

"Yeah. Ok" Alex replied. Diane smiled and kissed her daughter's cheek.

"I love you sweetie" Alex returned her kiss and pulled her into a hug.

"You too mom." The cab pulled up right next to the pair. Alex opened the door and Diane got in.

"See you tomorrow hun, Christmas preparations can never start too early!" Alex grinned and waved. Just as Diane was closing the door Alex added.

"Hey mom? Thanks." Diane just winked, blew her a kiss and waved. Alex watched the cab drive off until the lights had faded into the night. She let out long breath and made her way back inside.


	5. Cracks

AN: Sorry guys, took a bit longer to edit than I first thought. This was meant to be much shorter and I feel a bit like it's either too fast pace or that the pace is just a bit all over the place in terms of story line. Let me know if it's getting a bit confusing.

It's often hard to pinpoint where relationships start going wrong. In Alex and Piper's case it seemed to build up over time ready to boil over at any point. A combination of factors built up during this time. Their love had blossomed faster than most, and as a result both held a level of adoration for the other that was almost impossible to uphold. It was beautiful, but it also led to an intense fear of losing each other, which meant both parties keeping quiet about things that bothered them.

Piper kept her concerns over her abilities to do things for herself a secret and Alex kept her insecurities about Piper's sexuality and her upper middle class upbringing absolutely silent… But if it came down to a catalyst setting off what hindsight might call a doomed relationship, well, there were a few, but the first was named Jen Stanford.

Piper had heard countless stories about Jen before she ever actually met the woman. Alex spoke fondly of her best friend from childhood onwards and told Piper all about them sticking up for each other in front of school bullies, coming to terms with being gay together, as well as pulling all kinds of pranks and going on road trip adventures.

At first Piper felt a little threatened, until Alex told Piper they had always been a strictly platonic relationship, that Jen was like her sister. Jen had apparently worked her way into the publishing industry and was often travelling the country to meet different authors and offer her thoughts on their work.

Alex spoke so warmly of Jen that Piper couldn't wait to meet her. She was so certain she was going to like her. Alex was certain too, Jen and Piper shared many similar interests and a laid back personality. When she found out Jen was coming back to New York permanently Alex was excited. Piper was excited too; she couldn't wait to meet this person who was so important to Alex. Ever since she met her mother she felt honoured every time Alex opened up a new part of herself to her.

Piper was doing much better for money now, what with working two jobs. The job at the bookstore was actually really pleasant and did a lot to stimulate her mind, the people she worked with were nice too. A girl named Jess who was studying for a master's degree and Larry, a nice guy who was an inspiring writer.

When she first started her self-esteem wasn't especially high. She felt a little bit helpless having her girlfriend do everything for her. Piper never wanted to be passive. Her grandma's words often floated in the back of her mind "eat the world Piper".

She found she enjoyed being around Larry in particular, his self-deprecating sense of humour made her feel less isolated when it came to her work life and aspirations. He wasn't over-bearing like some men can be and was pleasant and friendly to everyone he met.

Though she worked for Alex, she didn't actually see her in the store that often. She was often in the office or taking trips out to publishing firms. That didn't mean they never saw each other however… One time when Piper had been feeling particularly frisky after closing up, she had performed some Oscar worthy role play of 'girl who really wants that promotion' for Alex. This resulted in a somewhat rough but oh so satisfying quickie right on Alex's desk.

Alex had been a huge fan of this and every now and then they would escape to have a private moment in there. By the time March rolled around they had calmed down and become a little more private with their private time. Their relationship had now hit its stride and was becoming more secure each day. Piper barely spent the night at her apartment anymore mostly spending her nights tangled up with Alex.

It was a rare Sunday afternoon and the pair were sitting together, Alex sat upright against the cushions with her legs spread and Piper was sat between her legs, leaning back on her chest with an open book. The women had found they liked to read together like this, Alex's head resting on top of Piper's. I was both a relaxing and comfortable silence and Piper often thought Alex was the only person she could fit with like this.

Suddenly Alex's phone started ringing. Disturbing their position, Alex eased Piper forward so she could get up and answer the call. Piper sat up and pulled her legs underneath her, keeping her eyes on her book and her ears trained on Alex's voice.

"Hello" Alex spoke.

Piper couldn't hear the person on the other line but quickly gathered who it was by the gesticulating and grinning followed by Alex replying.

"Oh hey Jenjer, I was wondering when you were going to get in touch! How've you been?"

Piper zoned out of the conversation for a while as the pair caught up. She zoned back in suddenly on hearing the arrangement times for meeting up.

"Is Friday night is the only time you're free?" A brief pause "Ok well, I guess that works out fine for me so. Sounds good. Where did you want to meet?"

Piper's heart sank as she heard Alex's words. She watched her pace up and down with a smile on her face. Alex had been with her every single Friday shift she had at Bolt since that first night they met. Piper almost felt a lump form in her throat as she forced the tears away. This was how crazy people acted and it was a stupid reason to be upset, but this was the first time it had occurred to Piper that their Friday nights were more special to her than Alex. That thought stung slightly.

She pulled herself together as she realised Alex had flopped down on the couch next to her. She turned and smiled at Alex.

"So that was the famous Jen huh? When do I get to meet her?" Alex laughed.

"Yeah that was her. She wants to meet up with me on Friday. I mean, it's the only day she's free this week. I thought maybe we could meet up to eat and then maybe see if she wanted to head to Bolt… Would that be ok?" Alex looked a little worried, frowning slightly. Piper immediately felt badly for thinking Alex didn't care about their Fridays. Piper shook her head.

"Don't be silly, that's fine. You catch up with your friend. I hope she does because I can't wait to meet her!"

Friday night rolled around quickly. The bar work kept Piper's mind busy and she always enjoyed the time spent with her friends. Once it reached about half past nine they had somehow achieved a quiet lull in customers. Nicky turned to the vacant chair that normally sat Miss Vause.

"Hey blondie, where's bigfoot this evening? She got the flu or something?" Piper shook her head trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Oh she's meeting up with her friend Jen tonight, they might be coming later, I'm quite excited to meet her." If Nicky noticed anything, she did an excellent job of covering it.

"Oh old Jen is back is she? I'll have to send her a slew of angry messages to her for not letting me know. Yeah I think you two would get on, both total nerds at heart!" Piper pulled a face.

"Thanks Nick, you know me so well." Nicky winked and smacked her butt on her way past Piper to stock up the fridges whilst they were quiet.

Piper never had a moment to think during bar work rush hour, but as the hours pressed on and with no sign of Alex, Piper felt her heart drop to her stomach. She periodically checked her phone and Richard kept supplying her with her favourite jelly sweets.

Even Nicky seemed to notice why she was feeling gloomy so got Richard to take a series of stupid photos with Piper (including one where she was squeezing her chest and Piper looked really hot) and sent a couple to Alex. It was moments like these that made her truly love her friends.

It was 3AM by the time she left, no sign of a text from Alex in sight. She sent one herself a simple 'Just finished, heading home x'

Almost immediately she got a reply saying 'come to mine x' Nicky offered to drop her off.

Piper and Nicky rode in silence for a long time. Nicky glanced over at the blonde.

"You're kind of bummed she didn't come tonight huh?" Piper sighed, not meeting the other woman's eye.

"It's stupid. I shouldn't be upset. I shouldn't be. It's stupid and controlling."

Nicky shook her head and after a few moments said. "You can't control what you're feeling. The key is to talk to her about it. She'll hear you out if you just tell her."

Piper nodded, she knew logically that was the thing to do, but she couldn't bring herself to talk about this with Alex. If the mood had been less mellow she would have laughed that is was Nicky of all people giving her sound advice.

"Yeah. I know Nick" she sighed heavily and let her head lull back against the headrest.

When Nicky pulled up outside Piper thanked her for the lift and trudged towards Alex's flat. Alex had given her keys around Christmas time, which had been a big step for them. However, it seemed silly for Piper not to have them as she was nearly always round at the brunette's flat. She turned the key and heard laughter coming from the other side of the door as she opened it.

She composed herself, wanting to make a good impression on Alex's new friend but also wishing she looked a little nicer and not like she'd just worked a 7 hour shift at a bar. She swung the door open and gingerly walked through, both Alex and her friend looked up with glee, at least four wine bottles spread across the coffee table.

"Hey baby!" Alex leapt up from her spot and wobbled over to her wearing an enormous grin. She planted a kiss on her lips and placed her hands on Piper's hips to steady herself.

"I missed you" she continued, placing another kiss on her lips and cheeks. Piper giggled despite herself, pushing those feelings of sadness down, deep down.

"I missed you too Al, have you two had a good night?" Piper asked. Her eyes fell on Jen, who was sipping a glass of wine and had her eyes fixed on Piper, looking her up and down. Jen had long auburn coloured hair (that explained the Jenjer nickname) and pale skin. Piper couldn't tell if she was tall or not but she looked a little shorter than herself from what she could see.

She and Piper had almost opposite body types, whilst they were both slender, Jen looked curvy with large breasts and hips (again from what she could tell) whereas Piper was more athletic looking. She had dark brown eyes. Suddenly Jen spoke.

"This one is thinner than you usually go for Al, I thought you were all about the boobs!" as if to accentuate her point, she grabbed her own, laughing and jiggling them slightly for emphasis. Then continued.

"But to be fair I remember in middle school you were all over the straight girl look."

Piper was at a loss for words. Never in her life had a total stranger just pinpointed something about her body that she was insecure about, or her sexuality and directly used it as some sort of joke. Her close friends always joked about her 'gay' side but that was different. They knew her. For all Piper knew, this girl didn't even know her name. Piper tensed up and Alex must have felt it because she rubbed the base of her spine before whispering in her ear.

"You're gorgeous baby… Ignore Jen, she turns into a complete bitch after half a bottle of wine."

Piper tried to shove down this feeling of deep disappointment. She had built up this fantasy in her head of immediately becoming close friends with Jen, of the three of them sharing fun evenings and adventures like Alex had described. She had thought in every possible scenario they would get on, but already she felt completely naked and exposed in her presence and she hadn't even said a word.

As if suddenly realising her mistake Jen started to back track.

"Hey kid, ignore me, I turn into a complete bitch after a bottle of merlot… Just ignore me. You've got legs like a super model, Christ, I'd kill for them."

Piper was still reeling a little from the initial comment, but maybe she'd judged Jen too quickly. She was pretty drunk after all. Piper smiled.

"Hey don't worry about it! My name is Piper. I've heard a lot about you." Piper walked with Alex to the couch and plopped down on it, she held out her hand for Jen to shake. She had a firm grip. Jen grinned and eyed Alex.

"Oh you have? All good things I hope. Well I heard nothing about you until tonight, but this soppy bitch hasn't shut up about you for the last… Three bottles of wine? So now I'm practically an expert."

Piper smiled, Alex had slid beside her and was pulling her back against her, gently caressing up and down her ribcage.

"I wanted to take her to Bolt to meet you, but miss killjoy over here wouldn't go." Alex added punctuating her comment with a kiss to Piper's jaw.

Jen rolled her eyes.

"So sue me Alex, you know I hate those cheesy ass gay bars, like we need some sort of special segregated places to be flaming homos. Plus, no offence, but who the fuck meets the love of their lives in a gay bar?" The woman was laughing and Alex just flipped her the bird, pulled Piper closer and started snuggling into Piper's side.

Piper felt completely deflated by this conversation and was too tired for what could only be described in her mind as complete bullshit from someone she'd just met. Piper's temper was dangerously close to blowing up. The kicker in all this being she had built this girl up in her head as being an amazing person. Piper stood suddenly.

"I'm going to go to bed… It's been a long day." Despite her high level of drunk Alex could sense that Jen had clearly rubbed Piper the wrong way. She needed to do some damage control and fast. Alex stood with her.

"Me too babe, I'm exhausted." Alex turned to Jen "You can sleep on the couch or call a cab or whatever you like, we can organise a night where we can all go out together soon yeah, I'll get Nicky involved too yeah. Piper maybe you could invite your friends too?"

Jen shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yeah sure Al, the more the merrier." She replied.

Piper stayed quiet, just offering a simple nod. The pair made their way into the bathroom and Piper let her hair down, began scrubbing make up from her face and brushing her teeth.

"Sorry about her." Alex said apologetically. "I should have warned you she's a bit much when she's drunk."

On some level Alex knew her friend's behaviour towards Piper, drunk or not had been out of line this evening. She wasn't even sure where it had come from, but she would definitely talk to her about it before they all went out again. However, she was drunk and tired and she didn't want to think the worst of her oldest friend. Piper gave her a tight lipped smile.

"It's fine Al, really. I'm just tired."

Alex began to start again but Piper simply shushed her with a kiss.

"It's fine babe, really."

It was moments like these every now and again that would irritate Alex. Moments when she knew things weren't fine but Piper wouldn't say a word to her. Once ready for bed the pair snuggled in together. After a beat Alex shuffled closer to Piper and whispered.

"Want to be my little spoon?"

Piper smiled, relaxing into her lover's touch. She loved this woman so much and she always seemed to know exactly what to do to whenever she was upset. She snuggled backwards into Alex's embrace and let out a long happy sigh.

"I love you" she said.

"I love you too." Alex replied. It didn't surprise Piper at all to feel Alex's hands wander under her shirt and to her breasts either. Alex gently stroked her thumb over Piper's nipple until it hardened. Piper arched her back into Alex.

"And I love your little tits… They are so perky and perfect." Alex brushed Piper's hair to one side and spread kisses up and down her neck. Piper felt herself getting wet. She put her own hand on top of Alex's and encouraged her to be a little rougher with her breasts.

"They are also so sensitive… Fuck." Piper moaned and kissed Alex to shut her up. She tasted of mint and wine.

At this point Alex rolled her onto her back to start really kissing her, gently biting her lip and slipping her tongue over Piper's. Piper just moaned into Alex's mouth. Alex grinned into the kiss and whispered in Piper's ear.

"You want me to fuck you?" Piper moaned, loudly.

"Yes" she kissed then added. "Please."

"Ok" Alex smiled. "But you need to be a bit quieter… We have company." Piper pulled away and gazed at Alex. Slowly and deliberately she brought her own hand down and started caressing her clit, the other hand working her way up to her other breast.

Alex almost growled as she grabbed Piper's roaming hands and pinned them down to her sides. Her nimble fingers quickly found her wetness and she slid two in with ease, curling them at exactly the moment Piper began thrusting her hips.

Piper gasped and clawed at the sheets as Alex began circling her clit with her thumb matching perfectly with her curled fingers. Piper let out a long, loud moan as she came, Alex working her way back up her body to kiss her.

Just as Alex began to pull Piper back to claim her little spoon, Piper shimmied down under the sheets towards a new goal.

"What are you -" Alex stopped immediately as Piper nipped her inner thigh. She shuddered.

"You sure?" she asked half-heartedly. "You just brushed your teeth."

Piper looked up at her and grinned, softly running her fingers up and down Alex's smooth inner thighs.

"I'm hungry" she said with a wink.

With that Piper started kissing Alex initially and gently, until the older woman was keening at her for more. Piper began licking slowly and deliberately before speeding up and applying more pressure. Her jaw began to ache but it was worth it to hear the sounds coming from Alex's mouth. Using one hand to squeeze the brunette's ample chest and the other to flick at her clit Alex moaned loudly, evidence of her orgasm present in the tremors coming from inside her.

Piper cleaned up the remaining area with her tongue and wriggled her way back to her lover's lips and gave her a long kiss. Alex tucked Piper's head beneath hers and they wrapped their arms around each other. Sleep quickly enveloped the pair soon after.

The next morning Alex got up early to make Piper a coffee. The living room was empty and a note was scribbled on the counter.

Dear Alex,

Woke up early this morning with a killer wine headache, got a cab home. Sorry I was so drunk last night; I promise to be less of a dick next time.

See you soon

Jen x

Well, at least she acknowledged her bad behaviour last night, Alex thought. When she walked back into her bedroom Piper was sitting upright in the bed, her eyes popping open even wider and an excited smile on her face as she saw Alex carrying coffee.

She reminded Alex of a baby owl whose mother had just swooped down to feed her, a clear face, bright eyes and messy hair. She looked beautiful. Alex smiled and went to go and kiss Piper before giving her coffee. Piper ducked to avoid the kiss.

"No Alex! Morning breath!"

Alex grinned.

"I don't give a fuck." She leaned in further and Piper gave in, giving her a gentle kiss. As she pulled away Piper's face was all screwed up with disgust.

"Can I have my coffee now?" Alex laughed.

"Sure."

They sat in bed together sipping their coffee whilst Alex tried to work out what to say to Piper about last night's events.

"Jen's gone, she had a bad hangover I think and wanted to crawl into her own bed I should imagine. She left a note apologising for being a dick."

Piper made a non-committal noise, bracing herself for what would no doubt be an awkward conversation. Still, she was curious to hear what Alex had to say about that meeting.

"For what it's worth Pipes I'm really sorry she was so rude to you. Thinking back on it now I don't know why I didn't call her out there and then, but I will talk to her about it ok?"

Piper nodded but couldn't quite meet Alex's eye.

"It's fine..." Piper said. Alex put down her coffee mug and tried to get Piper to look at her.

"It's not really though. I really wanted you guys to get on and now I feel like it's been made really awkward and I'm not sure how to fix it." Piper was at a loss as what to say. She knew she should come clean about the real reason everything Jen had said last night had really hit home, but she didn't want it to turn into an argument.

"… I'm not sure what you want me to say Alex." She settled on. By the look on Alex's face she could see she'd said the wrong thing. Alex sighed.

"You don't have to say what I want you to say Piper…" she started. Piper said nothing, but continued to sip her coffee.

"If I sort out a time we can all meet up together soon, I just… I want you to see the side of her I always did. I know you guys have so much in common and I really do think you'll hit it off. If I do that, do you promise to try and get to know her a bit more?"

Piper looked at Alex's hopeful expression and smiled.

"Of course Alex. If she's important to you, then she's important to me." Alex smiled and her whole body seemed to relax. She kissed Piper's cheek.

"Thanks babe, you're the best."

It was a couple of weeks later that Piper met Jen again, they all went to dinner together and it went much smoother. Jen seemed genuinely embarrassed by her previous behaviour and as the night drew on all the women relaxed and enjoyed each other's company. Piper let her guard down and was beginning to see why Alex liked Jen so much.

After that things seemed to be going really well for the next month or two. Piper and Alex had almost been together a year; in fact, they were just two weeks away from celebrating that mark. It was a stuffy Monday afternoon in June was Alex received a call from her mom.

In came catalyst number two like a wrecking ball, the day Alex found out about the death of her father. Her mom had said an old friend of a friend had tipped her off, she'd looked into it and it was true. He'd overdosed at the grand age of 50. Alex wasn't sure how to feel about this. She couldn't face her mom at the moment.

Piper was away visiting her family for the July 4th celebrations. She obviously couldn't take Alex because as far as Piper's family knew, she didn't exist. Alex desperately wanted to talk to her about this. She tried to call her a few times but couldn't get through. Eventually she texted her asking her to call when she got a chance.

All the while Alex was internally cursing Piper, then chastising herself. She knew why the blonde didn't tell her family about them. She could logically understand it… But it came with some huge insecurities for her. If Piper's family didn't know about her, what was tying the blonde to her really? She knew this wasn't a fair way to feel. She knew that. Which is why she would never bring it up with Piper.

She thought back to the night she had met Lee, and the person who had come with her. Who had talked to her afterwards, who had managed to pull her away from making what would have been a truly stupid decision, Jen.

Piper wasn't there and even if she were in that moment Alex was sure Jen would be able to understand what she was feeling in this moment better than Piper would. With slight guilt and trepidation, she rang Jen, who answered immediately. When she heard what had happened she said she would drop everything and be right over.

Jen was just what Alex needed right now. She had hugged her and gently consoled her. She let Alex talked about her feelings of insecurity and abandonment that surfaced when she thought about Lee. After copious amounts of alcohol and take out had been consumed the conversation somehow shifted from Lee Burley, to Piper.

Alex had just checked her phone to find a text message from Piper saying she would be free to call her in about an hour. That fitted perfectly as Jen needed to leave around that time.

"Where is Piper anyway?" asked Jen.

"Oh right. She's at her folks, something about a July 4th fancy dinner thing. Her family are big into celebrations." Alex explained. Jen took a big swig of wine and Alex was dreading the question she knew Jen was about to ask.

"Oh right. You've nearly been dating a year now right? Why didn't you go with her?" Alex stalled a little.

"Well you know, work and stuff and shifts were hard to juggle around..." Jen gave her a look.

"Alex" she said.

"Ok.. So I haven't actually met her family." Jen raised her eyebrows and made a sucking sound on her teeth.

"Oh Alex…" Alex stopped her in her tracks. She knew what Jen was thinking.

"No Jen, it's not like that ok? From what I gather Piper's kinda scared of her family. They aren't close like a normal family… Well I mean they are but they aren't… It's confusing. Basically they are pretty imposing in her life and she just wants to keep the peace." There was a pause.

"So they'd like disown her or lose it or some shit if they found out she was gay?" Alex was at a loss for words.

"Um. I don't really know... I don't think they would hurt her, physically at least." Jen put her drink down sighed.

"Look Alex, I get it. She's cute and sweet. She's got the big blue eyes and she's oh so clever, she's nice and blonde and kind of funny… But really doesn't she remind you all those girls that used to bully us at school? Only now the roles are reversed because this time she's the insecure one and this way you get to be in charge." Alex scowled and folded her arms.

"That's not -" Jen carried on regardless.

"But do you really know her? Like is she strictly into girls? Or does she like guys too? Have you ever asked her why she won't tell her family about you? Have you asked her if she ever plans on it? What are her friends like – not the ones you like but the ones you've met that are just hers? Is she really the person you think she is Alex? Do you really see it working out long term with this girl? I mean for Christ sake Alex she's nearly four years younger than you."

Alex said nothing, but sat there stunned. Everything she'd been somewhat insecure about when it came to Piper had just been laid on the table by someone she was really close to, that barely even knew Piper.

"I'm only saying this because I care about you Alex." Jen pleaded.

"By the sounds of it everything in your relationship has been initiated and set up by you. I mean… What's to stop her just up and leaving if she gets a bit bored or upset or something? I mean does she talk to you? Because emotionally she might not be ready for the kind of relationship you want right now Alex."

There was a long silence. Alex was leaning back in her chair, suddenly feeling about ten times worse than when she started. Jen's phone buzzed and she looked up at Alex.

"Look. I've got to head off, if you need me for anything just give me a text ok."

Alex nodded, not directly meeting Jen's gaze. Jen sighed.

"Look I'm sorry ok. Maybe I'm completely wrong about Piper but those are just some of the things I've noticed recently that have kind of been on my mind. I'm guessing by your reaction they have been on your mind too. We're all still on for Saturday right?"

Alex looked confused for a moment then remembered, they were all going to a fancy cocktail bar on Saturday. It was going to be her and Piper, Jen and Nicky and Polly and Lorna who were two of Piper's friends. Alex swallowed carefully.

"Yeah. Of course."

Jen stood up, leaning over and squeezed Alex's arm.

"I'm sorry hun. You take care yeah?" Jen leant down to kiss her cheek.

"Let me know if you need anything."

Alex nodded and waited for Jen to leave. She was left sat with the silence and those questions that circulated her mind. After what seemed like an age her phone started ringing. She answered it and began talking to Piper, shoving her worries deep down inside her, clinging to a somewhat overwhelming fear that if she expressed her concerns she might lose the blonde forever. Telling Piper about Lee was on the tip of her tongue, but then she quickly changed her mind.


	6. Tense

When Piper returned from her trip home she felt something had changed. She wasn't sure what but Alex was acting very distant with her. She didn't respond as much to her jokes and she sometimes gave her this look that she couldn't decipher. It was beginning to make her paranoid. It was also making them a little bit snippier with each other. Alex seemed to be drinking alone more and had withdrawn from her mother a little.

A lot of things had made Piper feel paranoid recently. She felt inadequate when comparing herself to Alex because Alex seemingly did so much for her and she seemed to offer little in return. She often really struggled to find reasons why Alex wanted to be with her and this drove up her fear that she might lose her.

Despite achieving a relatively good relationship with Alex's friend Jen, Piper still felt the need to walk on eggshells around the woman, and there was something about the way that she looked at Alex that made Piper uneasy. She tended to just remain very quiet around the other woman. She kept trying to tell herself it was just the history they shared that she was jealous of, but either way she knew this wasn't something she could share with Alex. It seemed like it wasn't something Alex noticed when they were all together.

As for friends that was another thing Piper worried about. Apart from Richard and Nicky, and the other people she worked with at the bar and bookstore like Larry, Piper didn't think Alex really liked her friends. Though she had offered many times, Alex rarely stayed round at her and Polly's place and often avoided nights spent in their company. All these concerns swirled in Piper's head, yet she had convinced herself that if she talked to Alex about these problems it would all blow up in her face, especially with how grumpy they had been with each other lately. She was imagining it, nothing was wrong, she was just being over-sensitive.

On Friday night (the second night Alex had missed completely in favour of having a catch up session with her mom and Jen) Piper went home and vented a lot of her feelings to Polly. Polly for the most part just listened and admitted she didn't know Alex well enough to really tell what was going on, but that she would try and suss out Jen on Saturday.

Saturday night rolled around and it all began reasonably enough. The drinks and conversations were flowing, though admittedly it was mostly Nicky, Jen and Alex all reminiscing about old times and Piper, Polly and Lorna doing the same. The drinks were flowing and soon enough they were all quite tipsy. Nicky started testing the waters with Piper's friends Lorna and, to everyone's surprise, actually seemed to be succeeding. Piper and Polly said they'd make their way to the bar to get drinks.

Whilst they were at the bar a tall, very attractive man with dusty blonde hair began talking to Piper. Piper was in no way touching the man but clearly started to engage with his conversation. Alex caught sight of this and soon Jen's eyes followed. Though Alex had seen and encouraged Piper to flirt for free drinks before, for some reason in this moment it just wasn't sitting well with her. She watched Piper bat her eyelashes and giggle along with whatever this guy was saying. She shook her head as if to get rid of the feeling. Alex excused herself to go to the bathroom.

When she arrived back Piper and Polly were making their way over with a tray of drinks.

"Look what we've got!" Piper grinned enthusiastically and the table, bar Jen, clapped and cheered.

Piper began handing round the drinks but when she got to Jen, the woman held up her hand to say no.

"Sorry. I don't want a drink that's paid for by some random guy who wants to fuck you." Piper physically reeled back as if slapped. She turned bright red and tears began springing to her eyes before she could stop them. Everyone at the table looked surprised and Alex stood in complete shock. Nicky began to speak

"Woah there I hardly think that's fai-" but was interrupted as Polly got there first, her face like thunder.

"What. The FUCK. Did you just say to my friend?" she said dangerously, trying to keep a volume control on her voice.

"Pol-" Piper began, furiously wiping the tears from her eyes, Polly just shushed her with a look. Jen backed off slightly with her tone.

"Look, I just don't feel comfortable watching my best friend's girlfriend flirting with someone while she's stood right there… It's kind of gross. Especially just after her dad just died."

Alex's stomach dropped. Jen didn't know Alex hadn't told Piper. Alex stood horrified, watching the whole thing unfold a little like a bystander to a car accident. Nicky had pulled Piper away as she tried her best to hold herself together, Piper looked at Alex the whole time and whispered so quietly it wasn't even acknowledged.

"Your dad died?"

Polly glared at Jen and took a step closer, getting into her face (or as close as possible, Jen stood at about five foot five, Polly only just about hitting five foot two)

"And who the fuck do you think you are speaking to another person like that? You fucking bitch, you clearly think you're so high and mighty, but I can see right through you. The only reason you're all wound up is because you're quite clearly jealous Piper is hotter than you, straighter than you and still managed to bag the girl you're so clearly pining for. Isn't that right? So you feel like you need to put Piper down to make yourself feel better? If you take such offence why don't you fuck off, you nasty little cunt." Polly's impassioned speech had their whole table completely tense.

It was as if Alex was transported right back to 8th grade, kids like Polly and Piper always used to bully Alex and Jen in school. Alex stepped forward, and right into Polly's space.

"Back off Holly. You don't know shit" Polly genuinely looked surprised, then incredulous, then angry. Piper was also shocked and felt her stomach clench, her mid whirring. She needed to try and diffuse the situation.

"Al, she was just-" she tried, but Alex ignored her.

"Did you not just hear what this bitch said to your girlfriend? Why am I the one defending her here? You really telling me this is the first time you've seen Piper flirt for drinks? And you've seen her at a bar? It's like her Olympic fucking sport, if there was a medal she'd take home gold for the US fucking A. How am I in the wrong here?" Polly arms were mid-air, waving dangerously close to their table of drinks.

Lorna had moved so that her arm was around Piper, as if to try and protect her, Alex was still towering over Polly and Jen had slunk to the background.

Nicky stepped forward to try and ease the tension.

"To be fair Vause, you've seen Piper in action every Friday at Bolt for ages, don't you remember that time we challenged her to see how many free drinks she could get, I mean hell she even got some drinks from all the gay dudes."

Alex turned on Nicky and glared at her, she retreated slightly, hands in the air as a means of surrender.

"I fucking know that Nicky. What I don't see the need for is the fucking disgusting language that just came out of her" she pointed at Polly "mouth. Directed at one of my best friends. If she'd have waited half a second before jumping in like a fucking rabid terrier I could have explained that. But now it's all fucking awkward."

No one said anything for a long time. Eventually Jen spoke, sounding a little like a scolded teenager.

"Look whatever. I thought I was defending my friend. Sorry Piper."

Piper said nothing. Polly moved towards her, practically shaking with anger. They all sipped their drinks in silence, Nicky and Lorna exchanging awkward looks, Jen staring into space, Piper looking at her feet and Polly and Alex both seething.

"Fuck this." said Polly.

"I'm not just going to stand here and watch my friend being treated like shit. I'm going to call a cab and then I'm taking Piper with me, home. You" she pointed at Jen "need to learn some respect" Jen looked like she wanted to roll her eyes but genuinely seemed slightly afraid of Polly, so she said nothing.

"And you" Polly pointed at Alex. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

Alex was angry. She was angry with Polly for making a scene and Jen for her words to Piper, but mostly she was furious with herself for not doing a single thing to stop it. She was unbelievably irritated by the fact that Polly was… Completely in the right. What had just happened?

She suddenly realised Piper was looking at her reproachfully, those big bambi eyes welled up with unshed tears. She looked torn between Polly and Alex. Finally, after Alex looked away and said nothing, she relented and let Polly drag her towards the door, Lorna quickly leaving with them.

Alex clenched her jaw.

"Well" Jen said after a moment,

"That was… -" Nicky saw Alex clench her fist and quickly interrupted.

"I think Jen, that you need to save that thought and go home." Jen looked at Nicky, her eyebrows raised in shock.

"Excuse me Nicholls?" Nicky looked at her, deadly serious.

"I mean it Jen. Go. Now." Jen looked at Alex and a look of realisation flashed over her face.

"Al… I didn't mean for it to-" Alex let out a jagged breath.

"Just go." Jen nodded, giving Alex a slightly hurt look before picking up her belongings and making her way through the door. As soon as she left Nicky pulled Alex with her and headed for the door. Alex was in tears before they'd even got there.

"What the fuck just happened Nicky?" Alex sobbed when they reached outside.

"… I don't know Vause. I was hoping you could fill me in on the part." Alex cried on Nicky's shoulder, loud, strangled cries.

"Hey Alex. Not that I mean to break up this awkward street art vibe we have going here, but you're like twice my height and covering me with salty rain. Let's get you in a cab home."

The two girls made it home in one piece, just about. Alex had stopped crying quite as much by the time they were sat on the couch.

"Soo… Do you want to let me in on what the hell was happening there Vause? Because I know you… I've known you forever and you've never been bothered by 'free drinks flirt' Piper before. Does Jen know something I don't? Because I gotta tell you Piper looks at you like created the sun and watching Jen tear into her like that… It was like watching someone kick a puppy."

Fresh tears leaked from Alex's eyes.

"I know" she whispered. "I can still her face. It's like permanently etched in my brain now." Nicky nodded.

"Right but… I just don't get why that happened. Like. What the fuck was up with Jen… And you?" Alex looked up.

"What do you mean me?" Alex asked. Nicky looked surprised.

"Well Alex, I'm not sure if you noticed, but Polly was kinda rightfully ripping Jen a new one and you hulked out on her. It looked like you were defending everything Jen said… You don't actually believe that shit do you?" Alex growled.

"Of course not Nicky. Fuck. Piper is the best person I know. Of course I didn't want to hear her treated like that… Did I… Did I really sound like I took Jen's side?" Nicky gave her a look that clearly said 'duh'.

"I just…" Alex paused trying to find the right words. She ran her hands through her hair nervously.

"When Polly called her a cunt it took me back you know. Back to the days when we were kids getting picked on by the mean girls. I don't know. It doesn't help that I don't really like Polly. Every time I've met her she looks at me like... Like she can tell I'm not good enough for Piper. I can't tell Piper because it would upset her… It rubbed me up the wrong way that she was the one shouting at my friend? I feel like it's my job to defend Piper… Not hers. Oh fuck. It should have been me. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I just let her go? FUCK!" Alex slammed her fist on the coffee table in frustration.

Nicky sat quietly as a new wave of tears took over Alex. She patted her shoulder awkwardly.

"I'll admit it's a bit of a fucked up situation. I'm pretty pissed at Jen. In fact, I'm kind of pissed with all of you, I was totally in with Piper's hot friend and you guys all had to go and ruin it by making things super awkward." Alex laughed.

"Sorry Nick. You actually kind of were in there." Nicky smiled.

"Eh, she'll be back. Just like your girl. But you'll need to do a whole load of apologising. Both of you need to start talking to each other more. You're both so scared of losing each other you don't actually talk about the problems that exist. You do know it's normal to have problems right?" Alex sighed.

"Also Vause… You are enough for Piper. She loves you, just the way you are. You shouldn't doubt that so much." Alex nodded, wiping her eyes.

"Should I call her?" Nicky frowned.

"Who? Piper?" Alex rolled her eyes.

"Yes Piper, of course, who did you expect?" Nicky held her hands up to surrender.

"I don't know dude; you might have meant Jen. Anyway no, I don't think you should call her. You need to give her some time, but you should definitely make the first move. Send her a text or email a message to her know you're sorry and you want to talk… Add in you're sorry as shit, in the dog house. You know, all that, and for the love of God let her know that you're not with Jen."

Alex did just that. The text read.

Piper, I'm with Nicky at my place. Jen went home. I'm sorry for the way she spoke to you… I don't think of you like that. You're the best person I've ever met and I love you. We need to talk soon. I'm sorry. I want this to work. All my love. A x

She clicked send. She in no way expected a reply tonight. She did however have six missed calls and a text from Jen.

She opened the message.

'Hey Al, I know I was out of line tonight and I know I caused problems with you and your girlfriend. It was not my intention to hurt you, but I'm sorry, I just can't get on board with your relationship. I don't see it working out and quite frankly, I don't think she's good enough for you. I've cared about you since we were kids Alex. Please don't throw away our whole relationship on something that won't last. Thanks for sticking up for me and defending me against Piper's crazy guard dog by the way. I love that we're still always there for each other. I'll be ready when you need to talk. Jen x'

Alex was gobsmacked.

"Am I reading this right?" Alex dropped the phone into Nicky's hands. She whistled long and low.

"Jesus." She said "You know; I don't think Polly was too far wrong with the whole jealousy thing there my friend."

"Fuck" Alex sighed. "What the fuck am I going to do?"

"You don't…" Nicky hesitated. "You don't have feelings for Jen do you Alex?" Alex groaned.

"I don't know. It's complicated. I mean she's my best friend. She's always been there and she is always there when I need her. I don't feel like I can just throw that away…" Alex paused.

"But.." Nicky pressed.

"But" Alex replied. "I have always felt she is more like family than a lover. I mean don't get me wrong, objectively she's attractive and we have always got on. I love her and our history together, but I am not in love with her." Nicky nodded.

"Right, but you do love Piper?"

Alex smiled. "When it's just us, she makes me feel like I could fly to the moon and back, like she makes me understand what all those stupid love songs we made fun of mean." She paused.

"I can't have them both can I?" Nicky looked at Alex.

"Ahh. No."

There was a long silence.

"Sorry about your dad by the way Alex." Nicky took Alex's hand. Alex looked over a Nicky and smiled.

"I don't even care about that scum sucking dickwad." Nicky gave her a look as if to say 'Ok, Ok' but seemed to know better than to probe that particular topic.

"… Did Piper know?" A beat of silence passed between to two, Alex dropped Nicky's hand and side eyed her guiltily.

"No." Alex replied.

"Why not?" Alex sighed.

"To be honest I'm still trying to figure it all out myself." Nicky sighed, her palm scraping across her face.

"Ok Alex, I'm trying to be as objective as possible here, because you're my friend, Piper is my friend and Jen is my friend. I've known you far longer out of everyone and I can honestly say you were much, much happier when Jen wasn't around. Also if I were Piper, I'd be feeling like shit right now. I mean you stood there and did nothing man. That cut me, and I wasn't even the recipient of those harsh words… What you're doing to her right now isn't cool."

Alex let out a heavy breath.

"Jen was really harsh the night she met Piper too."

Nicky raised her eyebrows.

"Really? Piper never said anything." Alex gave Nicky a look.

"Piper never says anything about anyone. Unless it's when she first meets a new person and somehow manages to accidentally offend them and their great ancestors." Nicky nodded.

"Yeah… She's lucky she's cute." Alex laughed. There was a long silence. Without prompting Alex continued.

"She insulted Piper's weight, sexuality and essentially told her she had a shitty job within about two minutes of meeting her."

Nicky's eyebrows almost disappeared.

"That didn't set off any warning bells for you Alex?" Alex sighed exasperated.

"Well… Kind of I guess. If I really thought about it. I just told myself she's drunk and kind of blunt sometimes... You KNOW what she's like. I really wanted them to get on." There was a pause and Alex flopped back against the couch, letting out yet another sigh.

"God this is all so fucked up." Nicky nodded.

"You my friend, are quite correct." There was a long silence.

"What am I going to do?" Nicky shrugged.

"I don't know dude, that's kind of your call, I've said my piece." Alex nodded.

"I mean, it won't solve the problems you're having now, but we could do shots?" Alex laughed and threw a cushion at Nicky.

"I think I'm good thanks. I need to get some rest. You're welcome to stay the night. In fact, you might as well have the bed. I'll sleep on the couch. I need a good think." Nicky nodded.

"Alright Vause, if you're sure. I'll take that as compensation for you ruining a perfectly good opportunity for me to score." With that Nicky sighed and pulled herself off the couch. Alex propped up some cushions behind her and took off her glasses. She pulled a blanket over herself and stared at the ceiling, unsure how to progress.

Across the city Piper lay wide awake in her own bed. Polly had actually been surprisingly quiet on the journey home, seemingly able to sense the evening was not something Piper wished to discuss. They had all gone to bed, Lorna with Polly. Before bed Polly had given Piper a hug, her heart had swelled with affection for her tiny friend.

Piper had received Alex's text and a breath of relief had washed through her when she read those words. Especially at the fact she was with Nicky and not Jen. The fact she knew she'd fucked up. There were just so many questions she had that had been left unanswered. If there was one thing she knew, it was that there was in no way shape or form she and Jen could ever coexist peacefully.

In an odd way it was a weight lifted from her shoulders. She now had a free pass to stop interacting with the woman who made her feel about two inches tall. However, that feeling came with a bubble of nerves, because she had no idea how Alex would react. She had seen a whole new side of her girlfriend tonight, and she wasn't sure she liked it. The way she had looked at Polly had actually frightened her a little. Especially because Polly had been defending her.

She had her phone in her hand and kept typing out messages, then deleting them. The process taking longer each time to type due to having to press that damned seven button four times to get the letter 's'. Eventually she settled on;

I want this to work too. I love you. We need to talk. P x

After almost ten minutes of staring Piper clicked send. In the back of her mind she knew it was too early, she hadn't processed anything yet. She had never been very patient though and she desperately wanted for her and Alex to slip back to the way things were before. She sighed and rolled onto her side to put her phone down.

As she went to roll back onto her other side she heard vibrations and saw her phone light up. The text back from Alex read.

Whenever you are ready, give me the time and place and I am there. Love A x

Piper sighed. She felt torn about how to proceed. She put her phone down to avoid a further text conversation with Alex and lay curled on her side. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning.

AN: Sorry guys, it's a bumpy ride ahead. I won't tell you what's coming, but I will say there are more chapters.

Thank you for the kind reviews and thoughts so far, I do get a little worried this story jumps about a bit with timings and maybe brushes over things, so if there is ever anything you feel needs more explaining or detail do let me know and I'll re-read/edit to see if I can see what you mean or add a bit more detail :)

Also sorry to say there might not be another update for a little while (maybe just after the weekend... Maybe not) I am in the middle of moving, so everything is a bit all over the place.


	7. I don't know

**AN:** **Thanks so much for all the feedback thus far. I hope to get some bits done on this over the Christmas holidays, hoping to have 2-3 more chapters in total. MAYBE 4. So. We're nearly there :)**

When morning came Piper could safely say she had never been so pleased to have the day and night off work. She lay staring at the ceiling for a full fifteen minutes before getting up, somehow managing to feel even worse about last night's events than when she had fallen asleep. Eventually she plucked up the courage to look at her phone. There were two texts, one from Alex from the early hours which read;

I missed you sleeping next to me. A x

The other was from Polly.

Come to my bed bitch, I've got coffee and toast xox

This did make Piper smile a little; she flung her duvet from her body and padded into Polly's room, she slipped under the covers and was passed a plate and a mug of steaming coffee sat opposite her. Piper sighed contentedly and snuggled a little further down into the covers.

"Where's Lorna?" she asked.

"Gone home." Polly replied, mid chewing on her own toast. "Only just, I got up and made this when she left. Oh, she asked for 'that nice girl' she was talking to last night's number when you're ready to give it to her." Polly raised her eyebrows and Piper laughed.

"Well, I'm sure Nicky will be thrilled! I've got to say that might be the second biggest shock of the evening…" Piper trailed off, the tone suddenly turning serious.

Polly nodded, there was a long pause.

"You ok Pipes?" she asked. Piper sighed.

"Not really." She said. Polly waited.

"She's been in touch, almost right away. She went home with Nicky, Jen went somewhere... She said she's sorry and she wants to talk." Polly raised her eyebrows, her eyes widened slightly and she rolled them, though not unkindly.

"And…?" Polly questioned.

"And… Oh I don't know Polly. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to react to that? I don't even know what happened back there." Piper took a bite of toast and chewed slowly.

"You and me both girl." Polly took a slurp of coffee. "Oh, by the way, I assessed Jen. She's a megacunt. Pretty sure. Or supercunt. I can't decide which I prefer."

Piper snorted, it felt good to have someone to share her mutual dislike.

"Pretty much."

The two of them carried on drinking in silence.

"I'm not sure what to say to her when I see her." Polly nodded, looking up as if searching the top of her mind for an answer.

"Well. I'm still pretty pissed. In my mind I'm kind of torn. On the one hand I think you should dump her and move on… You're worth so much more than that bullshit… But then that would play right into megacunt's stupid, ginger hands. The vindictive part of me kind of wants to shove your big gay relationship right in that smug, freckled fuck-face's… Face… It's a complex feeling."

If Piper had been feeling more herself, she would have laughed out loud. As it was she let out a short laugh and shook her head. Her heart had dropped a little when Polly had mentioned potentially ending things with Alex.

"I'm going to give her a chance to explain things anyway… We have a lot of things to talk about I guess." Polly sighed.

"It's your life Pipes. I'm not gonna tell you what to do… The heart wants what it wants and shit." Piper smiled.

"Thanks Pol."

It wasn't very long at all before Alex and Piper arranged to meet. That evening in fact. At Alex's. Piper still didn't know what to say. She was so unsure of herself she knocked on Alex's door instead of opening it with the key. Immediately it swung open, and there stood Alex, a mixture or anxiety, apprehension and relief written all over her face.

"Hi." Piper stated.

"You didn't use your key?" Alex questioned. Piper tugged on her sleeve nervously.

"I don't really know what to do in this situation." Alex's face fell, but nodded. The two stayed stood at the doorway.

"Can I… Can I hug you?" Alex asked, overwhelmed by the need to feel Piper close to her and to just fix everything. "please?" she added.

Piper nodded stiffly and Alex stepped forward. She was so warm, she smelled familiar and comforting. Alex felt Piper settle into the embrace and started running her hands up and down Piper's back in a soothing motion. This was what coming home felt like.

She pulled away and took Piper's hand, wordlessly pulling her into the apartment and shutting the door behind her. They stood and looked at each other for a couple of moments. Tears threatened to well in Alex's eyes. She pulled Piper down to the couch and the pair sat down, facing one another, knees almost touching.

"I'm so sorry Pipes…" Alex voice cracked and the tears that threatened to well up began dripping down. Piper's own emotions took over and she bowed her head as her own eyes welled up too.

"Is that.. I mean do you… Do you think of me -" Alex knew what she was about to say and moved to grab Piper's hand.

"God no. Fuck no Piper. I would never think of you like that. I've never said anything like that to Jen about you." Piper tensed up slightly at the mention of Jen.

"But… You have talked to her about me?" Piper asked. She was struggling to keep her emotions in check, before she had just felt sad but the idea of Jen filled her with a white hot rage, particularly the thought of Alex discussing their relationship with her. Internally there was a battle going on between her temper, her sadness and her reasonable side.

Alex sensed danger with her response, but she also felt she needed to be honest.

"Piper. I don't think I can answer this question without you getting upset…" she began. Piper's temper began winning the war.

"Spit it out Alex." She said shortly. Alex nodded nervously.

"Ok." She said. "I'll explain everything as best I can." Alex paused, scrambling to find the right words.

"I would be lying if I said I hadn't spoken about you to Jen. Not just at the start and basic stuff like who you were… But a little bit more. It's complicated and confusing and I don't … I might not be very good at getting this out." Alex ran and hand through her hair and Piper had folded her arms, her body language clearly displaying hostility. Her mind was desperately trying to keep her temper in check in order to hear Alex out.

"I have never said a bad word about you. First off. It's all me and my insecurities… I don't know. I just. You're like this little ray of light in my life Piper. And lately I have been so worried that you might not always be around. I mean, you're younger than me, you're well educated, you're beautiful and as shallow as this sounds… You're not gay. Fuck. I know that sounds bad... I know it's not fair but it's something I'm insecure about. Everyone important in my life knows about you, but none of your family know about me. My dad died when you were out of town and I guess. I don't know. I talked to Jen about it when you weren't here and I was drunk and she just kind of… Guessed everything I was feeling. I can't explain it Pipes, she just knows me so well."

Piper's temper got the best of her at this point. She stood from her position, her face frowing and voice raising.

"Well sounds like you have it all figured out, I guess I should just go off and excuse myself, maybe do some cheating before I turn straight forever and make things easier for you and Jen to finally be together." Piper spat, she turned on the spot as if to head towards the door. Alex groaned in frustration and pulled Piper's hand back.

"Piper stop it, that's not what I meant please LISTEN. I'm not in love with Jen, I don't want to be with her, I want to be with YOU. I'm just trying to explain what I'm feeling for fucks sake."

Piper was shaking with emotion, anger, sadness, then anger again.

"Well you've got a fucking horrible way of doing it." Piper replied. Alex relented, her shoulders sagging.

"I know." She said. "But please Piper, please will you just hear me out?"

Piper said nothing, pursing her lips. After a long silence she moved to sit down again. Alex let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you" she said.

"Just say what you want to say Alex." Piper said wearily. Alex sat down beside her.

"So. First of all I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my dad Piper. It's just… Look, I'm not saying it's fair but you grew up with two parents who care for you. Who cared for each other. I haven't told you about huge parts of my childhood and my dad in particular because… Well I just didn't think you'd get it. It's embarrassing. Especially what happened with my dad. The whole subject of my dad in general. I just. I wish he didn't exist. I mean I know he's dead but... Before that."

There was so much Piper wanted to say to this, but she let Alex continue.

"That was horrible wording… What I mean is... Look, you know I grew up poor, that my mom raised me, but I never really told you how bad it really was. I never said we were kicked out of four different apartments in the span of six months because my ma couldn't afford to feed me and pay rent. That we once spent a week living in her car when I was 9 and another at a homeless charity shelter when I was 10, which was actually where I first I met Jen. She was the first person I had ever met like me. That had stuff in common with me, that I could actually talk to and call a friend. I told you we got picked on in school but I never told you we got relentlessly teased, physically assaulted and on more than one occasion had literal rotting garbage tipped in our lockers or thrown at us. That that level of bullying carried on until I grew so much taller than everyone else and rumours started being spread that I had put some girl's head through a car wind shield. Well, that and the fact I was the first girl in our year to get tits probably helped. The guys practically fell over themselves around me for a little while. Though the attention was kind of wasted on me. Although I will admit I did my fair share of hand jobs before finding out I was 100% lesbo... And a while after that to save face."

Piper's face had softened into something that resembled pity. She shuffled closer to Alex and took her hand gently, muttering a quiet 'Oh Alex' as Alex continued.

"I didn't tell you that stuff for exactly this reason. I didn't want your pity. I want you to think of me as your equal. But I'm not… Not really. There are some things we just can't relate to each other about. At one point in my childhood I was so depressed I used to consider killing myself. My mom was working a lot and I was alone most of the time. We were having to move all the time to dodge social services who wanted to take me away from my mom… It was a time when the bullying was at its worst and I just wanted everything to stop. I remember this one time I flung my shoes out of the window of my mom's car and she chewed me out for it… Then she started talking about my dad. How amazing he was and all this shit. Looking back on it I think she was just desperate to try and make things seem better than they were, but at the time I remember latching to that idea. I kept imaging this rich dude who didn't know about us or who had lost us and was looking for us every day. One day he'd find us and marry my mom and sweep us off our feet or some shit. I could have shoved all my new expensive stuff in those snotty girl's faces."

Alex shook her head, looking in front of her rather than at Piper. Piper remained silent, her hand still closed around Alex's, her thumb gently rubbing circles on her wrist.

"So fast forward a few years to when I was 18, I finally found the guy. He was doing some gig in this run down little town close by to where I was living. I had been working for two years to help my mom out and had been living in this little flat together for a while. It was ok. We were ok, but I still had this imagine in my head that meeting my dad would change everything. Jen knew all about this. We'd been through a lot together and she had insisted she go with me to meet him."

Alex paused, thinking about meeting her father was a painful memory.

"As it turned out, he was a junkie waste of space. He was so high on drugs he starting talking to me about how nice my rack was and how he might fuck me if he hadn't of known I was his daughter. Sick fucking bastard."

Piper shifted a little closer still to Alex, putting her other hand on Alex's bouncing knee and stroking it gently as if trying to soothe a worried animal.

"So right after that I met this guy. My dad's drug dealer. He ended up trying to groom me into the business... This drug cartel thing. I was so ready for it, the money, the power… It would have been the perfect opportunity to leave my old life behind."

"Why didn't you?" Piper asked. Alex sighed.

"Because of Jen. She was obviously there for me after the whole dad meeting fiasco. She kept an eye on me and noticed when I went to meet this guy. I worked for him for a while, just small things. Selling a bit of weed and some pills on the side to see if I had the gall. Eventually I got cocky with it and told Jen about it. Well. She lost her shit at me. She said if I wasn't careful I'd break my mom's heart and end up the same way as my dad. She talked me down from what would have been a really fucking stupid life decision. One that probably would have landed me in prison. I owe her so much Piper. It's also why I felt I could talk to her, when I heard he had died. I knew she would understand... Or know what to do. She just gets it, no explaining needed."

Piper was silent for a while. She stayed put, hand still holding Alex's, still sitting close together.

"When I was younger I used to steal stuff." She said eventually. Alex looked at her in confusion.

"When I was about 16, I used to go to shops and take things. Just tiny things. Things I didn't even want. I just liked the rush, anything to feel alive. I wanted to be caught doing it, desperately, but I never was." Piper continued.

"My mom and dad do care for me a great deal. They care very much about every aspect of my life and the way it comes across to other people. They never raised a hand to me throughout my childhood and they could buy everything I could ever want. They spent time with me, took me to museums and dance classes like all good middle class parents do. I was taught to say please and thank you, to help old ladies with their shopping, to do as I was told, to always walk on the well-lit side of the street and never jump out of the back of buses."

Alex was uncertain where Piper was going with this, so she just listened.

"I had to be this perfect model daughter. Straight A's, active in the student body, the right kind of friends. All that. Danny was the perfect son and I needed to be the perfect daughter. Cal was just… An unexpected extra. My family are experts at lying. On the surface everything was fine but after the guests left our family dinner parties, when everyone had had just a bit too much wine we all just yelled at each other. Everything used to pour out in this ugly display and then never spoken about again. Once when I was 11 I caught my dad cheating on my mom. I told my mom about it and she punished me for something minor and completely ignored that it had ever happened. I told my grandma about it and she told me some people are happier pretending their lies are true. I've told you already about Celeste... I think if it weren't for her I'd have gone crazy."

Piper paused.

"If I told my family I was with you; it wouldn't matter to them either way. In their heads it wouldn't be happening. They wouldn't accept us and it would be brushed under the rug at every available opportunity. They would still talk to me, if I brought you with me, they may be polite to you. But forever more I would know that I wasn't their ideal daughter anymore... Like I would become some sort of defective object. Somewhere inside myself I'm not ready for that to happen. My family might be kind of fucked up but their still mine."

Alex tried to process the information she was being told, tried to understand where Piper was coming from.

"I do love you Alex, and I have no desire to leave you. You should never feel ashamed to tell me anything; I love you because you're you. Moving on from this though I want to say that I don't want to see Jen anymore. She makes me feel like shit and very insecure about myself. I don't feel like me anymore."

That almost made Alex cry all over again.

"I get that." She said after a while.

"Look, I need to talk to her about what went down last night. To get it all out. I can't give you a clear answer on what will happen after that at the moment."

Piper looked sad, but she had been expecting this. Alex ran her hand through her hair.

"Are we ok?" Alex asked.

"I don't know." Piper said simply. Alex nodded.

"Right… Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

Piper sighed. Yes? No? She was so emotionally drained she didn't know anymore.

"Maybe later. For now, I kind of want to watch something stupid and pretend none of this is happening. Maybe take a nap."

Alex nodded.

"When are you working again?" she asked.

"Tomorrow night." Piper replied. Alex flicked on the TV and set up some cushions on opposite ends of the sofa. In silence the pair topped and tailed, sharing a blanket, their legs touching. The atmosphere was heavy between the pair, but if neither of them mentioned it they could keep in this almost zen like unease for as long as possible. They rested their legs against each other and watched TV in silence, Piper eventually dropping off into a restless doze.

Alex reached for her phone and sent Jen a text which simply read;

We need to talk.


	8. Choice

Jen had agreed to meet Alex at her place the next morning. Alex's mind swam with anxiety over the meeting, unsure what she would say. She had manged to convince Piper to stay the night surprisingly easily. When they climbed into bed they had clung together as if they were keeping each other afloat. No sex, no kissing, just an intimate embrace which eventually fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning Alex work first. Piper had rolled away slightly in her sleep, but her hand was still tangled with Alex's. Alex watched the rise and fall of Piper's chest as she lay willing her to wake up. It seemed to work as Piper began to stir. Without opening her eyes, she joked;

"Quit staring at me Vause, it's creepy."

Alex chuckled to herself.

"Just trying to figure out how best to dispose of your body is all." She teased.

Piper opened one eye and smiled sleepily.

"Wow… Dark." She replied.

"What can I say? It's just the way I function in the morning." Alex moved a little closer to Piper, a silent invite to cuddle. Alex sighed happily as the invitation was accepted and Piper scooted into her arms.

"You know if you did want to dispose of my body the best thing to do would be to murder me with something edible, like a frozen leg of meat of a bag of oranges. Then you would have to drain the blood in the bath out of the main arteries. That would make the body much easier to chop up and then you could bury it in different locations. Scattering the teeth and eating the murder weapon would be a great way to get away with it." Piper commented matter of factly, eyes both closed again. Alex laughed loudly.

"You're so fucking weird."

Piper smiled.

"You love it."

Alex's humour subsided and she stroked Piper's hair and cheek gently, then moved her hands lower to stroke up and down her back.

"Yeah." She agreed. "I really do."

There was a long pause, though Piper didn't open her eyes Alex could tell she wasn't asleep by her pattern of breathing.

"What are you thinking?" Alex asked aloud. Without missing a beat Piper replied.

"That my girlfriend should shut up and sleep in longer."

"No… I mean…"

"I know what you mean." Piper interrupted softly. Piper opened her eyes and shifted to face her girlfriend.

"I'm thinking that I don't want to lose you. That I love just being here with you. That I love it when you stroke my back like that. That I love how safe I feel when it's just us, that I really, really love you."

Alex drew Piper in closer and repeatedly kissed her head, face, shoulders and neck.

"Same for me Pipes. I really, really love you too." Piper smiled.

"In that case let's not fuck it up." Alex nodded.

"I think we can manage that." Alex found Piper's hand and linked their fingers. The pair shared a small smile.

"How about breakfast?" Alex suggested.

After breakfast Piper had to leave. She was meeting her grandmother in town for a late lunch. As she had left she had shyly said she would mention Alex to her. It wasn't a huge step, but it was something. After she left Alex's stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought of the conversation she was going to have with Jen. Alex sighed heavily before grabbing her keys and heading out of the door.

She took the long way to Jen's, two changes on the subway and a walk across town. She held her breath as she rang the buzzer to let Jen know she was there. As made her way up the steps she let out a long sigh, her gut telling her this wouldn't end well. She stood outside the door for a few seconds until it swung open, as if by magic. Jen only looked half surprised.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey." Alex replied. There was a pause.

"Well are you just going to stand there all day or come in."

Alex brushed past Jen, not in the mood for small talk, as she came inside the anger inside her over the events of the last few weeks built up and she spat out.

"What the ever-loving fuck was last night about?"

Jen raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, going straight for the jugular, are we?" she asked in a near teasing tone.

"Cut the bullshit Jen." Alex started. "I know you better than that. Why are you so insistent on attacking Piper?"

Jen had the decency to look a little ashamed.

"I don't know Alex. I thought it was weird that she was flirting with other people. I thought I had your back… I didn't mean it to sound that harsh."

Alex narrowed her eyes.

"Yes you did and wrong. Try again. What is wrong with Piper?"

Jen sighed and sat down on the sofa, looking none of her confident self and just dejected.

"Nothing." She said flatly. "There's nothing wrong with Piper. She's smart, funny, sweet, stunningly gorgeous and totally head over heels for you." Jen looked down to her feet. Alex's stomach swelled with dread, but she needed to hear it nonetheless.

"Ok… So the problem is?" she asked. Jen fixed her with a pointed look, her eyebrow raised.

"Really?" she said. "Do I really need to spell it out for you?" Alex folded her arms and Jen sighed, standing up to meet Alex's gaze as best she could. She always did tackle a hard situation head on.

"The reason I don't like Piper is nothing to do with the girl herself. She's fucking perfect. That's why I don't like her. Before when you had girlfriends, it was different, because they weren't ever 'the one'… But her. I could see you with her forever Alex."

Alex nodded in silent agreement.

"Me too…" she said. "She makes me happy... I've never felt the same way about anyone before. I love her. "

Jen's face morphed into something reflecting real pain, she went on, her voice starting to shake.

"I think you already know this by now Alex, especially after that drunk text last night, but I don't want you to be with her because I'm in love with you. I think I always have been. I'm sorry I've not been easy to deal with, and I'm sorry I've been so awful to Piper… But it's like I can't help myself around you. I'm so fucking jealous of her it's killing me. After all we've been through and all we've done together. I just…" a stray tear made its way down Jen's cheek.

"I just thought we were made for each other. That sounds so fucking cheesy and stupid but I don't know how else to say it." Jen looked away, the tears now flowing more freely.

"Piper is a girl in a million for you Alex. I get it. I can't bring myself to like her though because she has you. You're my girl in a million."

Alex was stunned. She was expecting something along those lines, but hearing the actual words… And love. It was just all so much. Alex would be lying if she said she'd never thought about Jen in that way. Right now, in this moment she couldn't help but feel for her friend.

She meant to go for a hug. She really did. She pulled Jen closer to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, only it wasn't a hug. It was a kiss. A slow and gentle kiss. A kiss she wasn't sure who started. A kiss neither party was stopping. A kiss that felt nice… And then suddenly it stopped. Jen looked shocked, Alex stepped back. The realisation suddenly dawned on Alex.

"I have to go." She said.

"But.." Jen started.

"No. I need to go. Now. I have to go."

"Alex… We can talk about this like adults." Jen said.

"No, no, no, no, no. I can't hurt Piper like that no." Alex ranted. "FUCK!" she exclaimed, kicking the couch with frustration.

Jen held her hands up in the air as Alex rushed towards the door, pulling it open. She slammed it shut behind her and rushed towards the buildings exit. By the time she was outside she was furiously brushing away tears. She hailed a cab back to her place, her knee bouncing the whole time. When she got in she punched a cushion and then threw it across the room. Piper wouldn't understand. Would she? She would have to tell her; it would look so much worse if she didn't. What if Jen told her? What if someone else knew somehow and told her first? How could she make her understand? Why had she kissed Jen? What did it all mean? Her phone beeped. The message from Jen read:

You can't just run away from this Alex. I'll be here when you're ready x

An indescribable feeling, somewhere between fear, dread and loathing crept into Alex's stomach. Her immediate response was along the lines of 'oh yes I can' but eventually she typed out:

I'm telling Piper. I need to talk to Piper and get her to understand. I need space.

There was no immediate response to that for which Alex was grateful. She began to pace up and down the apartment, unsure how to proceed. The hours ticked by slowly. She did not have lunch; she wasn't sure she could stomach eating and started to plan exactly what she was going to say to Piper and what she would need to prepare for.

Suddenly her phone went off again. This time it was a phone call. From Piper. Alex's heart leapt inside her throat. She picked it up, willing her voice to sound normal.

"Hey."

"Hey Al, I'm all done with my grandmother, would it be ok to stop by before work? I'm pretty sure I've left my bar stuff at yours."

Alex glanced to the counter where Piper usually put her things, sure enough there were the tell-tale signs of keys attached to a keyring with a bottle opener.

"Yeah you have… And yes of course, you've got your keys, right?" Alex asked.

"Sure, I won't be long. I'm about five minutes away. Oh, how did this morning go?"

Alex panicked, she hadn't been expecting that question. There is no way she could let Piper know by phone. Before she knew what was happening her mouth was creating a whole new scenario.

"Oh I didn't end up going…" Alex explained. "I think I need more time before I see her again and I think she could do with it too… Something to do with drunk texts… But yeah I think it would be better to talk with clear heads."

It amazed Alex how smoothly the lie rolled off her tongue, but inside she was cursing the hole she had dug for herself. Guilt began to swirl its way around her stomach.

"Oh" said Piper, sounding surprised. "Well you know yourself best, I trust your judgement. See you soon!" The phone hung up.

Alex felt awful. It was like someone had some magical strings somewhere that they were pulling, making her do and say things she didn't mean. The panic was rising and making her throat constrict. She ran to get a glass of water and sat on the couch, knee bouncing, trying to stay composed. She had to get it together. There was too much to lose. All too soon she heard the jangle of keys followed by the door opening. Seeing Piper's face gingerly smiling and hearing her cheery greeting was a welcome relief from the swirl of negativity in her mind.

"Hey, I missed you." Alex replied. Piper smiled.

"Me too. I told Celeste a bit about you today."

Alex smiled despite herself, throwing herself into conversation with Piper to avoid thinking about anything else.

"All good things I hope?" Piper plonked herself besides Alex on the couch and smiled.

"I said that I'd found someone I was really connected to. That I've found a person I like spending my time with. I told her a little bit about your job and how we met."

Alex felt a warmth spread across her chest that she had come accustomed to when spending time with Piper.

"Did she think I was a dude?"

Piper laughed. "I don't know… I think she's always been better at reading me then to just assume. She kept using the word person a lot. I think she'd be cool about it."

Alex nodded and squeezed Piper's hand.

"You didn't have to do that you know Pipes. You don't have to prove anything to me." Piper squeezed back.

"I know. I wanted to." She replied, looking into her girlfriend's eyes and smiling that beautiful smile that felt like it was reserved just for her. Alex's heart leapt uncomfortably, her body reacting harshly to the guilt she was feeling.

"Oh and I was thinking." Piper added.

"Mm?" Alex replied.

"If you're not talking to Jen because of me I just wanted to know I completely trust you, I don't want you to feel like you can't be friends with someone you've known for ages. I also don't want to make things awkward between you two talking. I just wanted to say that."

It took everything in Alex not to break down hearing those words. It almost made Alex wonder if she somehow already knew and this was some twisted way of testing her. She just shook her head and nodded.

"Thank you Pipes. I'll remember that." Piper gave Alex a funny look.

"Are you feeling ok? You're acting weird."

Alex breathed out a sigh of relief for an excuse in her behaviour.

"Actually no, I feel a bit like I'm coming down with something… I didn't eat anything for lunch, so that could be it." Piper stroked Alex's hair, a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Aww, well why don't you go and lie down and I can make some soup or something for dinner? I don't want much before work anyway."

Internally Alex wished Piper would stop being so sweet to her, that she should know what she'd done just by looking at her. It was making her lie so much harder to stomach.

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. That sounds great thanks."

Alex walked into her bedroom and shut the door. She immediately began pacing, unsure what to do. She breathed in and out heavily, trying to compose herself. She wasn't sure if sleep was the answer but at least it gave her an excuse not to talk to Piper whilst she tried to work out what the hell to do next.

Piper busied herself in the kitchen, when she heard Alex's phone ping. She was unsure whether to disturb the brunette by taking the phone to her, Piper glanced at the screen and caught sight of the name the had flashed up on the screen. It was Jen. Piper knew she shouldn't look at the phone, it was Alex's phone and her business. Surely just one little peek wouldn't hurt though. It could be something important. As she picked up the phone she noticed it was unlocked. Now under normal circumstances, she would never read someone else's text messages unless they asked her to. But one thing about this message drew her in. Her name was clearly in the text. Against her better judgement Piper opened it:

I'm sure perfect Piper will understand. If she doesn't I'm here. This morning meant something to me Alex. You need to sort out your shit because right now you're being unfair to both of us. It's your choice.

Piper's stomach dropped and her eyes started to water when she read this message. Then she began to reason with herself. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic she inwardly repeated. There must be a reasonable explanation for this. Her feet made their way to the bedroom before she knew what she was doing. The door swung open to find Alex sitting on the bed looking like a deer in headlights. Alex expression morphed into one of confusion. Piper calmly tossed the phone to Alex.

"What do I need to understand Alex?" Piper said, her voice and knees trembling slightly.

White hot fear pulsed through Alex's veins as she read the text message. Fuck. How the fuck was she supposed to explain this now? It was like all the bravery she always felt around Piper completely disintegrated in this situation.

"I… I… You read my texts?" was all she could come out with. Immediately she knew it was the wrong thing. Piper's expression turned irritated.

"Wouldn't you if your name was the first thing you saw in a message to your girlfriend from someone who hates your guts? Tell me what I need to understand Alex." Piper's emotions were teetering somewhere between rage and sorrow, she felt in her gut this was not something she wanted to hear.

"I… Fuck. Piper. I fucked up. I'm so, so sorry. I fucked up and I lied about it. I can't, I don't know. I just really don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry Piper, I don't know what came over me. I panicked."

Alex could hear herself rambling at this point. Piper was now openly crying and this broke Alex's heart even more.

"Just fucking tell me Alex." The blonde gritted out, still standing, arms folded.

"Will you please sit down?" Alex requested. Piper perched on the edge of an armchair, too far away from Alex's liking. She took a deep breath in, then out again.

"I lied. I did go and see Jen this morning." Alex paused. Piper was looking away, wiping tears away furiously with the palm of her hand.

"I confronted her about what happened with you and she was super honest with me. She said you had done nothing wrong and she didn't like you because you were a genuine threat… She said she could see us together permanently and she didn't like that because… Well because she's in love with me." At these words Piper let out an open sob. It sounded like she was in so much pain it brought tears to Alex's eyes too. She continued, voice breaking.

"She was saying all this stuff about our past and how we could be something more and she was really upset and I don't fucking know why it happened Piper but she… I… We kissed." Alex paused, tears now freely rolling down her face as she took in Piper, who was now in the seat of the armchair, sat on top of their freshly ironed clothes, arms wrapped around herself as if she needed protecting, her head on her knees which were now drawn up near her body and her back heaving with sobs. The image completely broke Alex's heart, she let out a cry like that of a wounded animal.

"Piper please, please don't be so upset. It doesn't mean what you think it does I… I left right after, I needed to. I love you, I want to be with you. I don't even know why that happened. I won't see her again. I won't see her anymore if that's what you want. Please Piper, please. I'll do anything please." Alex was desperate at the point, but she was serious. Anything she could do to salvage this relationship at this point she would do. She was clutching at straws.

Piper didn't say anything, but the crying continued. Alex was crying too. For a few moments, there was nothing just the sound of sniffing and whimpers between them. Piper's sadness was beginning to give way to her incredible temper that had been building. She did not like to be made a fool of. She looked up.

"Don't put that on me." Piper sniffed, glaring at Alex. "That woman is nothing to do with me, it is up to you whether you want to see her. Not me."

Alex looked down at her feet, shame faced. As Piper continued.

"You let me carry on talking like a fucking idiot in there a few minutes ago Alex. About how much I trust you and that we could make everything work just fine… Were you just laughing at me Alex? Am I a fucking joke to you?" Piper was getting angrier by the second.

"No Pipes… No, no, no. I panicked… I wanted to tell you the truth right away but I.. I don't know what happened, it's like these words came out of my mouth and I couldn't control it." The brunette struggled to articulate what it was she was trying to say, hell, she didn't understand what happened.

"Oh. Well then. That explained everything doesn't it. Alex silver tongue Vause couldn't get her tongue to work properly when talking to her girlfriend, seemed to work just fine this morning though didn't it? What the fuck Alex? I mean how the fuck am I supposed to trust what you say? Are you sure it was just a kiss? Did you fuck her as well?"

Alex looked at her affronted.

"Fuck no! I told you, we kissed and I ran out of there, you can even ask her yourself. I wouldn't do that to either of you… Who do you think I am?" Piper shrugged her shoulders, her rage crumbling into sorrow once again.

"See that's the thing isn't it; I don't fucking know. Because my Alex wouldn't have done this to me in the first place."

There was a lasting silence between the pair.

"Jen was right about one thing." Piper said eventually, voice shaking.

Alex zoned back in, eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

"What?" Alex asked.

"In her text. She said you need to make a choice."

Alex tried to reach over to Piper, but she hastily snatched her hands away and continued before Alex could interrupt her.

"The thing is though… I'm not interested in being on the menu of choices for you Alex. So I'm going to make the decision really easy. Because I'm out."

Everything Alex had feared was happening. The cold feeling of dread and horror creeping up her spine and seizing hold of her body.

"What?" Alex whispered. Piper angrily wiped away the falling tears.

"I'm done Alex. We're done. That's it."

 **AU: ... Yeah I have had to move, had a new job and a fair bit of family chaos happening. I have not abandoned this fic but updates may be slow and varied. On the plus side there will be 12 chapters in total, all planned out (roughly) with the possibility of the 13th chapter. So please don't kill me fro the end of this chapter *hides***

 **In other news I have not proofread this properly, so please tell me if it doesn't make sense or line up properly with everything at certain points and I will edit it :)**


	9. Toxic

**AN:**... Yeah. I'm so sorry! I've been having some crazy stuff going on this year. I don't really fancy delving into that because it's personal and I'm sorry for not updating earlier for those of you who have enjoyed this story. I hope you can forgive me! I have written a longish chapter for you to make up for it (for me anyway) and the plan is still for 12 chapters. This one is kind of hard going. Sorry guys. Also I have NOT proofread this properly so if there are any glaring mistakes or things to read that are jarring then please let me know. Also this chapter for sure falls under the mature description. Just to warn you.

Piper stormed into Bolt like an angry whirlwind. Tears were still running down her cheeks, but rage had now taken grip, so much so that she was shaking all over. Nicky just so happened to be behind the bar to witness this, taking note of the indignant snort and phone being thrown across the bar almost shattering a glass in the process.

"Woah blondie" Nicky started "Chill the fuck out or I'm gonna have to -" she stopped mid-sentence when she caught the red blotches and mascara running down Piper's face. Her tone changed immediately to one of concern.

"Piper what the hell… Are you ok? What the fuck happened?"

Piper, her rage seemingly spent, broke down before Nicky's very eyes, letting out a loud sob. She was never more thankful that it was only setting up time. She began speaking in a high-pitched wail that was somewhat hard to distinguish. Nicky just about caught the words "Alex, kiss, lied, over and Jen"

Nicky's heart broke for the poor girl. She'd never seen Piper so desperately unhappy. Nicky pulled her into and awkward hug. She rubbed Piper's back until the sobs subsided into quiet gulps for air.

"Hey there now. It'll be ok. Vause is crazy about you… Whatever happened is surely a misunderstanding? Do you need me to call her?"

Piper shook her head no.

"Ok so here's what's going to happen. I'm going to let you off for tonight, I'll call Rich now, see if he can drag himself in. You sit in the back doing inventory or something and text one of your friends to come pick you up yes?"

Piper just sniffed and nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Right, yes. Good. Now go and fix yourself up. Chill in the back. Ring Polly, or your mom… Or your hot friend." Nicky joke, which earned a small smile and a tiny shove from Piper. As soon as Piper had turned to go Nicky grabbed her phone and sent some necessary texts, then began texting Alex.

'What the fuck did you do? Piper's come in look like someone just ran over her puppy.'

The reply was almost instant.

'I fucked up.'

Short and if Nicky didn't know better, came across as sarcastic. Nicky rolled her eyes. It was almost immediately followed up with:

'Is she ok?'

Nicky huffed loudly.

'No Vause. She's not ok. I'm sending her home. Are you? What the fuck happened?'

The reply was quick.

'Should I come and see her?'

Nicky rolled her eyes again. Alex was the master at avoiding a topic when she wanted to.

'For the love of god NO.' Nicky replied 'I've told her to ask a friend to pick her up. Whatever it is man leave her for tonight. She's not ready to talk to you.'

There was no immediate response. Nicky put her phone down, letting out a frustrated sigh. Her phone buzzed.

'Keep her safe. Tell me if she needs me. I love her Nick. X'

Despite the part of her that wanted to be angry at her friend for causing the state Piper was in, she really wanted to hear her out. Nicky sighed as the first customers started to roll in. It was going to be a long night.

Piper was unsure how she'd found herself in this current situation. Sat on the knee of a drunk Australian chick with a very angry looking Alex looking ready to charge at her... Or this Stella chick. She wasn't sure. Though come to think of it there were in fact, several possibilities. It could have been when Polly said she'd be a couple of hours in picking her up. She was at dinner with Pete's parents on the other side of town. At first, Polly had suggested Piper get a cab. Unfortunately, in a cruel joke of nature, Piper had been in such a hurry to leave that she'd forgotten to get her keys to her own apartment, only leaving her with keys to Alex's place.

Since she had nothing to do in those couple of hours she managed to find a bottle of wine in the inventory that they wouldn't be able to sell. Cork out of the bottle, the wine was already open. Barely a small glass worth had been drunk. Piper had decided to drown her sorrows in the mean-time. A bottle of wine and a Richard making a full appearance at the bar later lead to a very tipsy Piper finding her way to the front of the bar and sneaking free drinks from strangers and regulars alike as quickly as Nicky and Richard could give her glasses of water.

Nicky growing increasingly worried about Polly's whereabouts, and not actually having Polly's number herself decided against her better judgement to text Alex. This resulted in a back and forth between the pair where Nicky had realised two things. One, Piper was not the only one drowning her sorrows with booze and two, she definitely fucked that one up. Alex was on her way over to Bolt. Now. To apparently 'save Pips frm the durnk gays'.

All this had led to Piper's current predicament. Upon seeing the object of her heartache, Piper's throat constricted, the alcohol making it difficult for her to focus, so instead she tried to look away. Alex's eyes were working very hard to work out what was happening. She could see Piper. She could see Piper sitting on some Justin Bieber looking guy… Although Justin Bieber didn't have tits that big. Or lips that pouty. Shit the girl that currently had Piper on her lap was pretty hot. Looking again Alex could see Beiber girl's hands were getting way too familiar with Piper's thighs. A white hot rage fuelled through her, and when Piper looked back towards her again with an unreadable expression she charged over there, grabbed Piper's wrist and yanked her up and away to a cacophony of 'hey!' and other such exclamations.

"OW! Alex that hurts!" Piper exclaimed. Alex immediately dropped her wrist, guilt once again twisting her insides. She muttered an apology whilst gently taking her hand to see if she'd inflicted any damage. There was none. She then let her go.

"What the fuck Piper? I've been SO worried!" Alex exclaimed.

"Hey um, excuse you bitch, but what do you think you are playing at?" came a heavily accented voice over Alex's shoulder. Alex growled, her face visibly darkening.

"Back off dingo-fucker, this is my girlfriend."

Piper frowned.

"Not anymore Alex."

The brunette's heart broke further still, then was filled with a burning rage when Miss Australia started to butt in again.

"Well she doesn't look or sound to happy that you're here 'girlfriend', so maybe you should just back the fuck off and leave her alone."

"Fuck off" Alex spat back, not even looking at her. Turning her gaze back to Piper she continued.

"We need to talk Pipes."

Piper sighed, Stella was still hovering and Alex had a pleading look on her face.

"Just give us a few minutes" Piper directed at Stella, who looked somewhat uncertain.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'll catch you some other time." Stella nodded and looked reproachfully at Piper, then glared at Alex and went to go and sit back down.

Piper sighed and looked at the floor, feeling light headed. Alex was still blazing, drunk and felt very much stung by repeated rejections and the swirling dread that came to mind when she thought about losing Piper.

"Piper I made a mistake… Please. Please give me a chance to make it right. Please. I love you so much baby please." Alex pleaded.

"I love you too Alex… But it's not enough. We're not working. We don't work… We're not… Not making sense and it's making us both feel… Shitty." Piper replied. Alex grew angry again.

"Why is this so easy for you to walk away from? Why are you just dropping everything we have together? If we love each other we can make it work. I'm so fucking sorry Piper. I can't even explain why it happened. I just want you, always you, only you. You're my girl in a sea of many fish. Or something." The alcohol Alex had consumed was catching up with her. Piper was starting to get frustrated.

"Yeah well. I can't trust you and if you don't know why you go around making out with other girls then how do I know you won't do it again and again with other fish… Or girls. Or what the fuck ever?" Alex snorted with laughter, her eyebrows shooting up.

"Oh that's fucking rich coming from you." Piper glared.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, let's face it Pipes. You flirt with everyone. Girls, boys. Whoever is around at the time. Are you straight are you gay? Who fucking knows! I mean I come in here to help you and work shit out I find you on someone else's lap, happily getting felt up." This conversation was going nowhere. Hearing all her own insecurities about herself laid out in front of her by the woman she loved made Piper angry. Really angry. She pushed the woman in front of her, her eyes narrowed with contempt and unshed tears of frustration.

"Fuck you Alex… Seriously just fuck you. You're the one who cheated on me REMEMBER?" Alex stood tall, towering over Piper. The words flowed out before she could stop herself. It's like she'd transformed and every bad thought she'd ever had about Piper magnified tenfold. In this moment she wanted Piper to feel as bad as she felt. She wanted to hurt her like she was hurting.

"Seems pretty fucking convenient for you to just dump me for one fucking kiss though doesn't it… Unless you've been fucking around behind my back with anyone that buys you a free drink. Tell me Pipes do you let all of them fuck you in the back of cabs or am I special?" Alex knew she'd gone too far when she felt the sting of a slap across her cheek. There were tears escaping down her cheeks and Piper's too. Hurt and angry, Piper hissed her reply.

"Ok Alex… You want to play the victim? You want me to play the bad guy? Fucking fine. I will. Fuck you."

With that Piper stormed off, Alex's eyes fixed glaring at her retreat. Piper walked towards the Australian chick at the bar. She tapped her on the shoulder. As soon as she turned around Piper planted a kiss straight on her lips. Alex felt her heart crack, the anger that had just fuelled her evaporating and being replaced with despair. The girl went from looking shocked, to smirking, the two then headed for the door hand in hand. Tears spilled down Alex's cheeks and she started weeping. Like some kind of sadness ninja Nicky found her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"I'm putting you in a cab Alex, I'm going to save the I told you so's and the verbal beat down for first thing tomorrow morning. Right now, I'm putting you in a cab home and you're going to go to bed." Alex just nodded glumly and was guided to the exit by her friend.

The next few weeks were hellish for all those involved with Piper and Alex. The two had a vicious back and forth were one would try to one up the other by doing something to hurt the other. Alex would say something awful, Piper would find a one night stand, Alex would start seeing more of Jen and rub the relationship in Piper's face, Piper would say something awful and try to get their mutual friends to take sides. Alex would 'lose' something of Piper's, Piper would 'accidentally' smash a nice glass when she went round to pick up her stuff. The environment between the pair was toxic and the two people caught in the middle were Richard and Nicky and they were quickly running out of patience for the pair of them. It might not have got so bad if the two were not forced to work together almost every day. It was what it was.

A new thing Piper had taken to doing to get under Alex's skin at work was to flirt with her co-worker. Jess was off limits, she had a boyfriend but Larry… Larry on the other hand was most definitely single and seemed to be appreciative of her attention. He wouldn't be the sort of guy she'd normally go for but he suited the purpose perfectly. It actually worked out perfectly as it turned out he was Pete's best friend, Pete as in Polly's boyfriend and they began hanging out as a group quite regularly.

Whenever Alex would walk past she'd make sure to brush extra close to him or murmur an in joke in his ear so they might both start laughing. It seemed to have the desired effect as Alex would usually tense up, scowl and stomp away from the scene in the opposite direction, sometimes barking orders at the pair of them.

Alex was in a somewhat confusing relationship with Jen. Alex knew what her friends and her mother would say, so she withdrew from them. In fact Jen was the only person she really saw at the moment as she fulfilled two very important roles. One was getting back at Piper for breaking her heart, the other was someone to vent to about Piper and her behaviour. Jen took it upon herself to label the pair of them in a relationship, though it would be evident to anyone involved that this just wasn't the case.

This animosity came to a head one evening between Piper and Alex. It was almost closing time at the store and the only people there were Alex, Piper and Larry. The three of them were tidying in relative silence, an awkward tension surrounding them, all of them keen to leave as quickly as possible. Alex's phone rang. It was Jen sorting out some kind of date night. Did Alex need to repeat their plans in front of Piper? Did she need to make it evidently clear who she was talking to? No, not really, but she couldn't resist the temptation to get under Piper's skin, and it worked.

Alex left to continue her conversation in her office, leaving Piper and Larry alone. The pair of them tidied in silence, then Larry suggested they go and collect their things from the back room. Piper nodded, suddenly she had the perfect revenge plan. Larry walked into the small room first, followed by Piper, who quickly shut the door and then pounced at Larry. He quickly found himself pressed against a wall, with a very attractive blonde woman wrapping her arms around his neck and pushing her lips to his. So convincing was her argument and so surprising that Larry did nothing to stop the situation, until Piper started the grab his hands to position one on her butt and the other underneath her top. Larry groaned, his conscious getting the better of him and pulling away.

"Woah Piper" he started, a little breathless. "Not that I'm not flattered and all… But what's going on?"

Piper sighed, frustrated.

"Sudden burst of passion? I don't know Larry… Could you just go with it? Please?" Piper went in to kiss him again, but Larry pulled away further. Piper rolled her eyes.

"Come on Larry!" she exclaimed. "I'm at least a 7 and I'm flinging myself at you here, I'm asking you to take advantage!"

Larry laughed and backed away.

"I'm fairly certain I'm crazy, and you're actually more in the 8-10 category, but I don't especially want to be revenge fuel for whatever is going on between you and the boss at the moment."

At this Piper's facade crumbled. She leant against the wall furthest from the door and slumped down it, willing herself not to cry. Larry stood awkwardly unsure what to do for a moment, then he joined her on the floor.

"You don't seem very happy at the moment Piper." He stated. Piper laughed.

"Understatement of the century Larry… Happy girls don't throw themselves at nice guys they work with to get back at their ex-girlfriends…" Larry nodded and sighed.

"Well. I don't know what went on with you guys, but I kind of get the whole 'bitter and cynical I can't have who I really want' deal." Piper raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" she asked. "Do tell."

Larry gave her a look.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

Piper laughed. "Do you want to write it with your left hand and draw love hearts around it so no one can tell it's you?" Larry laughed.

"Polly." He said. Piper was shocked. Maybe she was just really bad at reading people. Or maybe he meant a different Polly. But why would he say Polly and just Polly if it wasn't the Polly they both knew?

"Polly?" Piper questioned. "As in Polly, Polly? Kind of a bitch but heart in the right place super high maintenance Polly?" Larry laughed again.

"The very same." Piper whistled.

"Wow." Larry sighed and leaned his head against the wall.

"I know."

"So you're in love with your best friend's girl?"

"Yep."

Piper laughed.

"Wow, and I thought I was fucked." Larry smiled.

"What a pair we are, you with all your crazy lesbian drama and me being a living enactment of the Rick Springfield song."

"Jessie's girl?" Piper queried with a smile. Larry nodded.

"The American dream hey?" he joked. Piper sighed and leaned her head against Larry's shoulder. They stayed like that in silence for a couple of minutes. Larry was first to break the silence.

"Well, I'd better get home. Those friends re-runs won't watch themselves." He pulled himself up and then extended a hand to Piper, who he then pulled into a hug.

"It'll get better Pipes. You should get out of here for a while though… Whatever you and the boss have going on right now it's not healthy."

Piper sighed, pulling back slightly and looking at Larry.

"I know… And thanks by the way."

Larry smiled. "No problem."

It was at that exact moment the door swung open and in walked Alex, looking as though she'd just been sucking lemons. She cleared her throat.

"When you two are done making eyes at each other you can finish the tidying, some of the new book display looks a mess."

Piper rolled her eyes.

"I cleared that up before." She said.

"Well it looks sloppy. You can do it again before you leave." Alex knew she was being petty, but she just couldn't help herself. Seeing the two of them in some sort of loving embrace was too much for her heart.

"Whatever. I'll go and do it now. Larry you should go home." Larry looked awkwardly between the two women.

"You sure you'll be ok?" he directed to Piper.

"She's an adult in a closed book store." Alex snarked. "What will she need saving from a paper cut?"

Larry held up his hands in self-defence. "Ok, sorry!" he said "I'll get out of your way. Catch you later." Larry hurried out of the store, with all his belongings. Piper glared at Alex.

"That was uncalled for Alex. There was no need to be so rude to him when your issue is with me."

Alex ignored her and swept out of the room indicating the book display she wanted arranging.

"Just do your job Piper, then we can both leave."

Piper could feel the anger bubbling up in her stomach. She looked at the book case, with each book facing the front and looking tidy.

"What's wrong with it?" she asked.

"It looks better if the spines are facing outward, not the cover." She said. Piper raised her eyebrows.

"Really Alex? That's what you want me to work overtime for? Since when do we have a code of conduct for which way spines face?" Alex narrowed her eyes.

"It means you can fit more copies of the books on the display shelf Piper, and they are less likely to get bent before they're purchased." Piper wasn't ready to let this go.

"But people won't be able to see the cover as easily and may not want to go looking for the book at all." The exasperation was beginning to show through in her voice.

"I'm your fucking boss Piper, just do what I'm telling you to do."

That was it, Piper's temper snapped, she went to the shelf and tipped a few books on the floor, challenging Alex with her glare. Alex snorted with laughter.

"Oh real mature Piper." She said sarcastically.

"Fuck you." Piper spat out.

"Apparently half the population already have in the last few weeks… So…" Angry tears sprang to Piper's eyes.

"I'm leaving." She said. Alex blocked her path.

"Not until you clear up this mess." Alex raised her voice. Piper tried to dodge past her, then tried to hit out at her. Alex caught her wrists. They wrestled with each other, hurling insults until they found themselves backed up against one of the book cases. Piper caught a familiar glint of arousal in Alex's eyes. Piper licked her lips.

"What would Jen say if she picked up you now and saw us like this?" she questioned. Alex glared.

"That's got nothing to do with you." She spat.

"Well when you rebound so obviously Alex, it's kind of hard not to say anything…" Piper pressed herself against Alex slowly.

"Fuck you…" Said Alex, without much conviction, her eyes now hungrily trained on Piper's lips. Piper leaned towards her ear, seeing a chance to win back a sense of control.

"Why don't you?" she whispered. Alex met Piper's gaze and instantly Piper felt herself being shoved against the opposite bookcase and Alex's tongue in her mouth. The two of them kissed furiously, tongues battling for dominance, Piper letting out a loud moan when Alex moved her lips to the sensitive spot on her neck, picked her up, and started kneading her ass through her work trousers. Piper wrapped her legs around Alex's waist as she quickly unzipped Piper's trousers and thrust her hand into her panties. She returned to working the spot on Piper's neck, angrily nipping and sucking whilst synchronising the movement and rubbing of her fingers around her clit until Piper was breathless and desperate for more.

"You're so fucking wet Piper... Do you like this? Do you like being held up and fucked without taking any of your clothes off? Do you like me treating you like a slut?" Piper refused to answer, but Alex smirked into her neck when she felt a fresh coat of arousal on her fingers.

"I'll take that as a yes…" she said and bit her ear. Piper huffed and let out another moan, she glared at Alex.

"Just fucking fuck me already!" she exclaimed. Alex laughed and unceremoniously shoved two fingers into Piper. Piper moaned. Alex began a furious pace, somehow managing to keep Piper up balanced against the shelves whilst curling her fingers inside her quickly. Piper's moans grew louder and louder.

"That's it baby… You cum for me you dirty girl… The second you cum I'm going to bend you over my desk and lick your pussy until you scream."

It might have been a combination of the talk, the stimulation and the pent up rage all coming out at once but Piper suddenly felt the delicious tightening of her muscles and the warmth spreading all over her body as she cried out. Alex then let her down and pulled her into her office, closing the door behind them.

An hour and multiple orgasms later the pair lay gasping and naked, the room strewn with paper and objects that had previously been on Alex's desk. Alex had made good on her promise as soon as they got into the room, Piper not to be outdone had immediately dropped to her knees, pulled one of Alex's legs over her shoulder and licked her furiously. The pair proceeded to fuck each other's brains out until they were too sensitive to continue. Piper finally broke the tension.

"What are we doing Alex?" she asked. Alex looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Well… When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…" Piper smiled despite herself and shoved her shoulder.

"You know what I mean." Piper turned on her side to look at Alex. The brunette's expression grew serious.

"I know…" she finished. They stared at each other for a long time, Piper timidly pushing back Alex's long hair over her shoulders. The pair of them silently picked themselves up and started getting changed.

"We can't keep going like this…" Piper started. Alex said nothing, continuing to get changed.

"Alex, this relationship is toxic. I don't… I don't want to hate you." This sounded a lot like a goodbye.

"Yeah? Well I hate you." Alex threw back childishly.

"No you don't." Piper stated. Alex paused. Then turned around. She met Piper's gaze. After a beat she replied.

"No… I don't." There was a long silence.

"I'm going to hand my notice in here."

"You don't have to do that Pipes…" Alex protested half-heartedly.

"No I think I need to. We're no good for each other right now Alex. We need time away. Time to think… To heal. Our current situation isn't fair to anyone Alex."

Alex sighed.

"I know."

The two were both fully dressed now.

"So that's right? A clean break."

Alex nodded, tears starting to prick her eyes.

"I think it's what we both need right now."

Piper's tears began to drip down her cheeks.

"I never thought we'd end up like this." She said.

"Will you be ok for money?" Alex asked, wiping her own tears away.

"I'll be fine… So. I guess this is goodbye?"

Alex nodded. Piper turned towards the door.

"Hey Piper?" Alex said before she walked away. Or a second she wanted to say everything she loved about Piper, she wanted to beg her not to leave, she wanted to plead with her to fix things. But instead what came out was.

"I'm sorry ok? For all of it." Piper nodded, another tear running down her cheek.

"Me too Alex."

With that she left. Alex busied herself picking things up in her office. When she finally heard the click of the door she peeked out. The books on the floor had been picked up and put on the shelf – spines first. The pent up tears made their way freely down Alex's face.


End file.
